Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home ,leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweight the disadvantages?

Over the years, we have experienced a massive
developement
Correct your spelling
development
in the department of information technology.
This
essay
exermines
Correct your spelling
examines
arguments surrounding claims these advances are more beneficial than their disadvantages. As evidenced by social media
platforms
and
internet
news
platforms
Social media has contributed immensely towards the unification of families and friends living in different parts of the
world
. People have been able to talk to their loved ones on video calls, making it feel like they are together yet
there
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they
show examples
might be thousands of miles apart. These include
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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platforms
such
as
Whatsapp
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WhatsApp
show examples
and Facebook.
For instance
, recently I created a group where I invited all my high school classmates from 2006, In
this
group we can interact and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
have fun as
of
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in
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the old times.
Currently
Add a comma
Currently,
show examples
we are planning
of having
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to have
show examples
a
get together
Add a hyphen
get-together
show examples
just to have more fun More importantly, we have great improvements on the
internet
news
platforms
.
This
has increased the speed of spreading
news
around the
world
. Anyone with access to the
internet
can read or view
news
from any country. Some
news
are
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is
show examples
reported live, meaning you are able to watch the reports live as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
happens
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happen
show examples
. To make it more fun anyone with a
smart phone
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smartphone
show examples
can record and report live on any event happening anywhere.
This
means there is
nomore
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no more
need for
waiting
Add the preposition
waiting for
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professional
news
reporters to come and capture the
news
to upload it on their official
platforms
. The fascinating part is, if you have
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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then
you will stay updated on everything
that is
happening around the
world
be it sports or music concerts. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
advanments
Correct your spelling
advances
in information
techlogy
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technology
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
more benefits
to
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for
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human kind
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humankind
show examples
because
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
now easier to communicate with our friends and relatives and it we can now keep up to date with
news
happening around the
world
on the go through our mobile phones.
Submitted by sisalt100 on

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task achievement
Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to explicitly state your argument.
task achievement
Ensure all points are fully developed and add more detailed explanations and examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve grammatical accuracy and variety of sentence structures to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
general
Proofread your essay for minor spelling and grammatical errors.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.
task achievement
The use of personal examples helps in making your points relatable and concrete.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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