Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home ,leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweight the disadvantages?

#information #technology #aspects #lives #home #leisure #work #activities #outweight

Over the years, we have experienced a massive

developement

Correct your spelling

development

in the department of information technology.

This

essay

exermines

Correct your spelling

examines

arguments surrounding claims these advances are more beneficial than their disadvantages. As evidenced by social media

platforms

and

internet

news

platforms

Social media has contributed immensely towards the unification of families and friends living in different parts of the

world

. People have been able to talk to their loved ones on video calls, making it feel like they are together yet

there

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

might be thousands of miles apart. These include

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

platforms

such

Correct your spelling

show examples

and Facebook.

For instance

, recently I created a group where I invited all my high school classmates from 2006, In

this

group we can interact and

and

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

have fun as

Change preposition

show examples

the old times.

Currently

Add a comma

Currently,

show examples

we are planning

of having

Change preposition

to have

show examples

get together

Add a hyphen

get-together

show examples

just to have more fun More importantly, we have great improvements on the

internet

news

platforms

This

has increased the speed of spreading

news

around the

world

. Anyone with access to the

internet

can read or view

news

from any country. Some

news

are

Change the verb form

show examples

reported live, meaning you are able to watch the reports live as

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

happens

Correct subject-verb agreement

happen

show examples

. To make it more fun anyone with a

smart phone

Correct your spelling

smartphone

show examples

can record and report live on any event happening anywhere.

This

means there is

nomore

Correct your spelling

no more

need for

waiting

Add the preposition

waiting for

show examples

professional

news

reporters to come and capture the

news

to upload it on their official

platforms

. The fascinating part is, if you have

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

then

you will stay updated on everything

that is

happening around the

world

be it sports or music concerts. In conclusion, I strongly believe that

advanments

Correct your spelling

advances

in information

techlogy

Correct your spelling

technology

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

more benefits

Change preposition

for

show examples

human kind

Correct your spelling

humankind

show examples

because

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

now easier to communicate with our friends and relatives and it we can now keep up to date with

news

happening around the

world

on the go through our mobile phones.

Submitted by sisalt100 on Mon Sep 02 2024

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task achievement

Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to explicitly state your argument.

task achievement

Ensure all points are fully developed and add more detailed explanations and examples.

coherence cohesion

Improve grammatical accuracy and variety of sentence structures to enhance readability.

coherence cohesion

Use more linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

general

Proofread your essay for minor spelling and grammatical errors.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.

task achievement

The use of personal examples helps in making your points relatable and concrete.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

314 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Cách mạng Công nghiệp 4.0 đang diễn ra. Nó mang đến cho nhân loại cơ hội để thay đổi bộ mặt các nền kinh tế qua Internet vạn vật, các hệ thống thực ảo, giao tiếp, cộng tác với nhau.
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Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home ,leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweight the disadvantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With the increased use of computers, the Internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities.to what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Some people believe the Internet is the most important invention in modern history. Do you agree or disagree?

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