IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows current health expenditure totals as percentages of GDP* for various European countries for the years 2002, 2007 and 2012.

The bar chart below shows current health expenditure totals as percentages of GDP* for various European countries for the years 2002, 2007 and 2012.
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The bar chart shows the percentages of
Gross
Correct article usage
the Gross
show examples
 Domestic Product of
a
Remove the article
apply
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recent total health expenditure in different 12 European nations in 2002, 2007, and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly observed that Switzerland spent the largest on healthcare,
whereas
Linking Words
 that of
in
Change preposition
apply
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Estonia was the fewest throughout the given time frame.
However
Linking Words
, it is interesting to note that trends of expenses
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
project similar
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
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 in several countries.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in terms of similarity, there are four nations
that
Correct word choice
apply
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their
Correct pronoun usage
whose
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 figures remain stable across three compared years. A closer look at the bar chart revealed that Switzerland paid the highest among all others at 11%, followed by Belgium and Spain at 10% and 8% ,respectively.
Additionally
Linking Words
, It is noticeable that Estonia
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 fewest at 3%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
an upward trends
Correct the article-noun agreement
an upward trend
upward trends
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 of figures can be seen from the diagram as well, where both figures in 2002 and 2007 remain constant before
jumped
Wrong verb form
jumping
show examples
 in 2012. Denmark and Norway both
begin
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
from
Change preposition
at
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 slightly over 8% during the first two aforementioned
year
Change to a plural noun
years
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 and
ending
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 10% in 2012. Meanwhile, the variations can be found
1
Change preposition
in 1
show examples
%, 3%, and 4% fall in Slovenia, Poland, and Lithuania, chronologically. In regards
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
variability
Add an article
the variability
a variability
show examples
 of trends, The
Netherland
Fix the agreement mistake
Netherlands
show examples
provide
Wrong verb form
provided
show examples
 a constant fall from 10% and eventually dropped 1% every five years. Luxembourg,
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 the same at 8% before
decrease
Change the verb form
decreasing
show examples
 1%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, France
shown
Add the auxiliary verb
showed
has shown
show examples
 some fluctuations
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their expenses with the same figure as the
Netherland
Fix the agreement mistake
Netherlands
show examples
 in 2002, reaching its peak at 11% in 2007, before fell down to 9%.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Health expenditure
  • Percentage of GDP
  • Trend analysis
  • Economic prosperity
  • Health outcomes
  • Quality of healthcare
  • Allocation of resources
  • Healthcare services
  • Political, social, and economic factors
  • International organizations
  • Government policies
  • Predictive trends
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