Some people think it is a good thing for senior managers to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Proponents suggested that it would be beneficial for senior managers to receive much higher payments than other
staffs
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staff
show examples
. In my opinion, I completely disagree with them. It is undoubtedly the position who running the team
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
show examples
vital to the corporation. A
manager
need
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needs
show examples
to balance the work distribution and collaboration between other
staffs
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staff
show examples
. In most
circumstance
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circumstances
show examples
, it would be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
common sense for senior managers to have longer work experience. These would equip them with the insight that
other
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others
show examples
do not have, in order to
managing
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manage
show examples
their team efficiently. The leadership position qualified them to have a higher
salary
.
However
, a huge gap between the
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
of ordinary
staffs
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staff
show examples
and senior
manager
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managers
show examples
could cause inequality in
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
.
While
the general idea
to distribute
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of distributing
show examples
salary
should
depends
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depend
show examples
on people’s contribution to their
job
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jobs
show examples
, normal workers may have a heavier workload but receive less money than their managers.
Although
the position of leader is imperative, administrational
works
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work
show examples
normally
seemed
Wrong verb form
seems
show examples
that
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
be easily done.
This
would raise a feeling of
unfair
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unfairness
show examples
among workers
due to
the imbalance between job load and
earning
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earnings
show examples
. Eventually would destroy the harmony in the corporation and damage the interests.
Moreover
, in some countries, a senior
manager
who has higher payment is majorly
depended
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dependent
show examples
on their service time in the company. Whether the
manager
satisfied
Add a missing verb
is satisfied
show examples
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
burden of leadership and team building
aren’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
isn’t
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the qualification for
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
salary
.
This
might result in
staffs
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staff
show examples
to
loss
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lose
show examples
stimulation
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
work. It will not always
being
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be
show examples
beneficial for elder
manager
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managers
show examples
earn
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to earn
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much
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
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others.
Therefore
, whether one could earn much than others should
depends
Wrong verb form
depend
show examples
on their contributions.
Additionally
, an unreasonable gap between the
salary
of seniors and
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
would
be making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
sense.
Submitted by kejian_shi on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your arguments are clearly structured and consistently developed throughout the essay. This will make your points more persuasive and easy to follow.
Task Response
Incorporate more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling.
Language
Work on improving your grammatical accuracy and use of vocabulary. This will enhance the overall readability and professionalism of your essay.
Task Response
You have addressed the topic clearly and provided a solid rationale for your viewpoint.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to structure your response effectively.
Task Response
The points you have made are relevant to the question and show a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • justification
  • experience
  • responsibility
  • high-stakes decisions
  • motivation
  • incentive
  • wage disparity
  • morale
  • meritocracy
  • performance
  • contributions
  • company finances
  • employee development
  • research
  • expansion
  • alternative compensation structures
  • performance-based bonuses
  • profit sharing
  • dissatisfaction
  • retention
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