Some people think it is a good thing for senior managers to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Proponents suggested that it would be beneficial for senior managers to receive much higher payments than other
staffs
. In my opinion, I completely disagree with them.
It is undoubtedly the position who running the team Fix the agreement mistake
staff
is
vital to the corporation. A Correct pronoun usage
that is
manager
need
to balance the work distribution and collaboration between other Change the verb form
needs
staffs
. In most Fix the agreement mistake
staff
circumstance
, it would be Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
a
common sense for senior managers to have longer work experience. These would equip them with the insight that Correct article usage
apply
other
do not have, in order to Fix the agreement mistake
others
managing
their team efficiently. The leadership position qualified them to have a higher Change the verb
manage
salary
.
However
, a huge gap between the earning
of ordinary Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
staffs
and senior Fix the agreement mistake
staff
manager
could cause inequality in Fix the agreement mistake
managers
company
. Add an article
the company
a company
While
the general idea to distribute
Change preposition
of distributing
salary
should depends
on people’s contribution to their Change the verb form
depend
job
, normal workers may have a heavier workload but receive less money than their managers. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
Although
the position of leader is imperative, administrational works
normally Fix the agreement mistake
work
seemed
that Wrong verb form
seems
can
be easily done. Verb problem
apply
This
would raise a feeling of unfair
among workers Replace the word
unfairness
due to
the imbalance between job load and earning
. Eventually would destroy the harmony in the corporation and damage the interests. Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
Moreover
, in some countries, a senior manager
who has higher payment is majorly depended
on their service time in the company. Whether the Replace the word
dependent
manager
satisfied
Add a missing verb
is satisfied
the
burden of leadership and team building Change preposition
with the
aren’t
the qualification for Correct subject-verb agreement
isn’t
higher
Add an article
a higher
salary
. This
might result in staffs
to Fix the agreement mistake
staff
loss
stimulation Replace the word
lose
on
work.
It will not always Change preposition
at
being
beneficial for elder Change the verb form
be
manager
Fix the agreement mistake
managers
earn
much Fix the infinitive
to earn
than
others. Correct quantifier usage
more than
Therefore
, whether one could earn much than others should depends
on their contributions. Wrong verb form
depend
Additionally
, an unreasonable gap between the salary
of seniors and staffs
would Fix the agreement mistake
staff
be making
sense.Wrong verb form
make
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your arguments are clearly structured and consistently developed throughout the essay. This will make your points more persuasive and easy to follow.
Task Response
Incorporate more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling.
Language
Work on improving your grammatical accuracy and use of vocabulary. This will enhance the overall readability and professionalism of your essay.
Task Response
You have addressed the topic clearly and provided a solid rationale for your viewpoint.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to structure your response effectively.
Task Response
The points you have made are relevant to the question and show a good understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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