some argue that it is better to talk to friend and not family about problems. To what extent you agree or disagree.

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In recent years, discussions related to the choice between sharing with
friends
Use synonyms
or family and its two-sided impact on emotional well-being are on the rise. Some suggest that people prefer seeking comfort and consolation by pouring out their troubles with
friends
Use synonyms
, and others argue that sometimes it could backfire on us if we choose the wrong one to confide in. I strongly agree that we should let ourselves unfold in front of
friends
Use synonyms
, not family.
To begin
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with, distinct growing environments could lead to a generation gap between us with older family members, including
education
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educational
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backgrounds, outside world information, national reality, financial conditions, personal experience and other decisive factors that could define our personalities and mentalities.
For example
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,
parents
Use synonyms
are usually less educated compared to their children
due to
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china’s
Capitalize word
China’s
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national situation
at
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in
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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century. The lack of education could often lead to damaged
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
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such
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as
close-minded
Add a missing verb
being close-minded
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, arrogant, selfish and impatient, stimulating
parents
Use synonyms
to objectify children as their belongings rather than
an
Correct article usage
apply
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independent
individual
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individuals
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.
Consequently
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,
parents
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will attempt to control their children’s
life
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lives
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in the trajectory they wish
instead
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of relating to their children’s problems.
This
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phenomenon emphasizes the negative impact of turning to
parent
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parents
show examples
,
that is
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, the reasons above have caused
parents
Use synonyms
’ emotional ignorance of their children.
In contrast
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, there is a widespread belief that sharing with
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
is more beneficial. One major factor is that friendship
enable
Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
show examples
a more equitable, objective and judgement-free environment to share.
Moreover
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, effective communication lays the foundation of a healthy friendship, which is part of the
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
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why we feel secure to confide and
also
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a downside of our relationship with
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parents
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our parents
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, since we were assigned to our
parents
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yet we could choose who to befriend
with
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apply
show examples
.
Friends
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, typically of similar age and life stage, are more likely to relate directly to
issues
Correct article usage
the issues
show examples
at hand. Meanwhile, the voluntary nature of
such
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relationships means that individuals could choose a similar one to share with since
this
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common ground nurtures a sense of mutual understanding on an equal footing.
As a result
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, we turn to our
friends
Use synonyms
more when situations deteriorate or escalate, since it’s almost like pouring oil on the flames if we talk to the wrong person when we feel vulnerable, especially some
parents
Use synonyms
who might be the cause of our vulnerability and emotional instability.
Hence
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, it is apparent that
friends
Use synonyms
represent more positive listeners, offering both emotional security and valuable insights, which can be crucial in times of need. In conclusion, it is evident that
friends
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often emerge as more appropriate confidants for personal issues
due to
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the distinctions of the genuine relationship nature between us with
friends
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and family.
As a result
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, it would be a lot more beneficial to talk our issues to
friends
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rather than family in the long run.
Submitted by d22093870 on

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general
Your essay could benefit from more specific examples and evidence to illustrate the points made. While the arguments are valid, they would be more compelling with concrete instances.
task response
It would enhance your essay to include a sentence that directly states your main argument at the end of your introduction paragraph. This will make your position clearer from the outset.
coherence
Work on refining the transition between some arguments to ensure a smoother flow. This will enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
task response
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing relevant aspects of sharing problems with friends versus family.
coherence
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a comprehensive starting point and a clear wrap-up of your arguments.
coherence
Your main points are generally well-supported and you have a logical flow in presenting your ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • objective perspective
  • emotionally involved
  • balanced advice
  • judge
  • misunderstand
  • relatable
  • generational gap
  • differences in opinions
  • relevant support
  • family dynamics
  • stress relief
  • confidentiality
  • broader family network
  • empathy
  • mutual understanding
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