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Band 5.5

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #visitors #countries #customs #behaviour #host #country #differences
Some people think that tourists should commit to the country’s traditional clothes and morality,
while
 others believe that tourists should express their own traditions and culture. In my perspective, countries should allow visitors to act and dress freely, which would promote cultural diversity and boost tourism. Cultural differences will be accepted across the world. The exposure to different kinds of agendas and beliefs will lead people from the host country to accept diversity and decrease judgments and racism.
For instance
, a Muslim woman will be able to wear a Hijab at a park in Italy without being under pressure because of racism.
Furthermore
, welcoming individual diversity will increase tourism.
This
 will ease the exchange of information, religion, habits, and traditions.
For example
, a very religious Indian lady who is an expert in alternative medicine can share her knowledge with a Mexican family. She would not be able to exchange information with them if her clothes were banned.
To sum up
, flourishing tourism and traditional acceptance are the reasons why I believe it is important to allow people to behave and dress without restrictions in foreign countries.
Submitted by remasalotaibi678 on

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task achievement
You can enhance task achievement by presenting more specific and varied examples to support your points. This will also help in making your arguments more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
To improve on coherence and cohesion, work on creating clearer transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will make your essay flow better and improve readability.
task achievement
Discuss opposing views in more depth before stating your argument to give a balanced perspective. This can help in addressing both sides of the issue more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to set the stage for the following discussion, which can improve the logical structure of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is concise and clearly sets out the essay topic and your own viewpoint, which is great for setting the context.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly states your opinion, which is a strong element of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural understanding
  • cultural harmony
  • local customs and behaviours
  • host country's traditions
  • unintentional offense
  • enhance the travel experience
  • cultural fabric
  • inclusive society
  • diverse society
  • global understanding
  • mutual respect
  • respect for local customs
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