IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of inquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The graph below shows the number of inquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#inquiries #tourist #information #office #city #period #features #comparisons
The line graph illustrates the total number of inquiries of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 received by
Tourist
Correct article usage
the Tourist
show examples
 Information Office during six months in 2011.
Overall
, it can be seen that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication methods both in person and by telephone
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 risen considerably.
By contrast
, written inquiries continued falling over
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 period shown. In January 2011,
directly
Change the word
direct
show examples
 contact was around 400 reports.
Whereas
, telephone accounted for slightly over twofold as in person. These two types had extremely increased to respective almost 2000 and slightly below 1600 in June.
In addition
, trends for using
telephone
Add an article
the telephone
a telephone
show examples
 to contact the tourist officers seemed
went
Change the verb form
to go
show examples
 up fluctuatively.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 personal asking rose significantly. Written information from visitors went down month by month during a six-month period. In the initial month, which was January, there were about 700 travellers sending messages to the authority.
However
, in June, only roughly 400 people did
this
 way.
This
shown
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
 a massive decrease and became the latest option to communicate with visitor officers.
Submitted by hikmanurdin04 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: