With increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays
oil
and
gas
are the major
non-renewable
sources
of energy.
Although
a significant part of the world continues to share the idea that these
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of
sources
are the ones which we should invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
, there is a
likewise
large part which carries on a different idea. Indeed, in the present
day
Add a comma
day,
show examples
many renewable
sources
of energy have been studied for decades.
This
essay will address some of the reasons why renewable
sources
are preferable, and balance them with the opposite position, in order to illustrate the disadvantages of an
economy
based on
oil
and
gas
. To start with,
non-renewable
energy
sources
,
such
as
oil
and
gas
, are responsible for many environmental problems.
Above all
, climate change is the perfect example. Many studies
demonstate
Correct your spelling
demonstrate
the link between the increase in the use of petroleum and global warming.
Moreover
, their production processes represent a huge cost, allowing only
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
people to become very wealthy, to the detriment of the
overall
economy
of a country.
Nevertheless
, one might argue that
oil
and
gas
are still more efficient
sources
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they do not depend on external conditions,
such
as the weather, which are out of human control.
Therefore
, to open up undiscovered areas of the world seeking more of these resources is at least a debatable decision.
However
, even if we would admit that
non-renewable
sources
are more efficient and easier to produce than renewable ones, they will
extinguish
Wrong verb form
be extinguished
show examples
sooner or later.
Additionally
, the costs in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
of environmental print will never be justified. In conclusion,
this
essay deals with
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
and possible advantages
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
an
economy
based on
oil
and
gas
. Anyhow, it is evident that
such
an
economy
would not be sustainable.
For
this
reason, I
competely
Correct your spelling
completely
disagree with the potential investment of money in the research of undiscovered areas for the extraction of
non-renewable
sources
.
Instead
, I encourage investments
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
improving clean-power research.
Submitted by 2001martinap on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure to stay on topic, directly addressing the prompt without deviating too much into broader discussions of renewable energy. For example, emphasize why exploring undiscovered areas may or may not be beneficial, with specifics.
task achievement
Use more concrete examples to support your arguments. Specifics about real-world initiatives, studies, or statistics would strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical progression of ideas, ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly from one point to the next.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and well-rounded, effectively framing your main argument.
task achievement
You presented clear, comprehensive ideas with well-defined positions on renewable versus non-renewable sources.
coherence and cohesion
The essay showcases a logical structure with main points supported throughout, reflecting good coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global demand
  • finite resources
  • energy consumption
  • exploiting
  • untouched ecosystems
  • carbon emissions
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable energy solutions
  • geopolitical consequences
  • territorial disputes
  • dependency
What to do next:
Look at other essays: