THe chart below show the percentage of water used for different purpose in six areas of the world.

THe chart below show the percentage of water used for different purpose in six areas of the world.
The charts illustrate the percentage of water used in 3
sectors
,
relavant
Correct your spelling
relevant
to human activities, in 6 different countries of the world.
Overall
, there are 3
sectors
of human activities that
use
water, consisting of Industrial, Agricultural and Domestic
use
. It is
obviouse
Correct your spelling
obvious
that
Agricultural
Replace the word
agriculture
show examples
is the
higher
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
use
in
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of those different areas,
while
Domestic is the lowest
use
in every single
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
. The amount of water used for
Agricultural
Replace the word
agriculture
show examples
had a higher number, compared to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
two
sectors
. Especially Africa, Central Asia, South East Asia and South America
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
used 84
percent
, 88
percent
, 81
percent
, and 71
percent
.
By contrast
, Domestic is the lowest
use
compare to 3
sectors
, the percentage is only 7
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
to 19
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in every
areas
Change to a singular noun
area
show examples
.
Besides
that industrial is one of the
sectors
that depends on the country,
for instance
North America is 48
percent
,
while
in Central Asia
use
foe Industrial only 5
percent
.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words sectors, use, percent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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