Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Some say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion.
Commercials play an integral part in our lives. Nowadays, It is unavoidable to have their negative
as well as
positive consequences. That's why there are split opinions among people
regarding ads, which I will discuss in ensuing
paragraphs and explain my inclination.
To Commence with, the advertisements are very useful as they make us familiar with new market trends, new products and many times with news as well. Through the medium of Correct article usage
the ensuing
Correct your spelling
advertise
advetise
we came to know about the launch of new products Add a comma
advetise,
along with
there
features. Correct your spelling
their
For Example
; every year the
Apple company launches Correct article usage
apply
new
Correct article usage
a new
smartphones
and in order to let Fix the agreement mistake
smartphone
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
know about the functions of upcoming
Add an article
the upcoming
version
, the company uses advertisements, Fix the agreement mistake
versions
therefore
; when people
do
the pre-booking of Unnecessary verb
apply
Add an article
the device
a device
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
than
Change preposition
apply
according to
trend
they can make the product. Add an article
the trend
Besides
that, advertising can stimulate economic growth by encouraging consumer spending which in turn can create jobs aund
support Correct your spelling
and
business
. Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
Moreover
, they are a powerpul
way to raise awareness about important social issues Correct your spelling
powerful
such
as environment conservation efforts and health campaigns.
On the other hand
, some believe that it has negative impacts like companies misuse
their money to manipulate Wrong verb form
misusing
people
to buy those things, whịch they do not need. Apart from that, they put hostile effects on the vulnerable population like children, who want to buy those things which are not beneficial to their well-being after watching pamplets
. They are not good for Correct your spelling
pamphlets
tender
minds of kids as many negative and vulgar body languages are Correct article usage
the tender
also
used in commercials. Such
adverse impacts pottentially
Correct your spelling
potentially
leads
to mental health issues and social anxiety.
Change the verb form
lead
To Conclude
, according to
my perspective due to
technological advancements and ever changing
global community needs, the announcements Add a hyphen
ever-changing
exerts
a positive Correct subject-verb agreement
exert
infuence
on Correct your spelling
influence
the
society if the governments Correct article usage
apply
took
serious notice Wrong verb form
take
against
those displays which Change preposition
of
adversly
Correct your spelling
adversely
affects
the community.Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
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clear comprehensive ideas
The essay covers both views of the topic, but there are some minor issues with clarity and completeness. Try to develop each point more fully and use clear examples for support.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on your spelling and grammar. For example, words like 'advetise' should be 'advertisements' and 'exerts' should be 'exert'. Improving accuracy will make your writing more professional.
logical structure
Some transitions between ideas are a bit abrupt. Use linking words and phrases to make your argument flow better, such as 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', 'On the contrary', etc.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which enhances readability and gives a clear starting and ending point to your argument.
relevant specific examples
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, such as the Apple smartphone example. This helps illustrate your arguments more effectively.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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