Differences between countries are barely evident these days . Everyone in the world is wearing the same brands and watching the same TV channels and movies. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

#differences #countries #world #brands #tv #channels #movies #development

Nowadays, technology has made everyone around the

world

live the same life, they wear similar clothing

lables

Correct your spelling

labels

and

watching

Wrong verb form

watch

show examples

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

Television shows.

This

essay will examine

this

view and explain why I believe that it is not a favourable

developement

Correct your spelling

development

. I call

this

transition "Westernisation",

this

is because we only find Western culture being marketed and forced

among

Change preposition

show examples

us. Europe has the biggest

fashion

industry in the

world

Correct word choice

and as

show examples

such

their product

Fix the agreement mistake

its products

show examples

are sold all over the

world

through popular

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

show examples

and

fashion

models.

This

has made our native African and Asian communities

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

adopt these

fashion

trends and

abondon

Correct your spelling

abandon

our own traditional dressing which is now viewed as backward.

For instance

, jeans and leather jackets are now popular everywhere because

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that is

what the market is exposing us to.

In addition

, America owns the biggest film industry

world wide

Correct your spelling

worldwide

show examples

This

gives them the monopoly to dominate the TV programs shown on the Televisions.

This

is because they have quality and quantity so their productions trend faster and become popular

over night

Correct your spelling

overnight

show examples

. These companies have money to market their programs making any other small production meaningless.

For instance

, the production of the movie called "Mission Impossible" was worth $200 million USD.

This

shows how big these individuals are, so all TV channels scramble to

such

marvelous

Change the spelling

marvellous

show examples

productions

Change preposition

for

show examples

their viewers. In

this

regard, I certainly believe that these changes are not good for our culture because we are losing our originality. We are

forcusing

Correct your spelling

focusing

of other people's dressing and throwing away our decent sense of

fashion

. These TV programs are showing us certain

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

that we do not condone as Africans,

such

same sex

Add a hyphen

same-sex

show examples

marriages. Surely I say these actions are not good for us. In conclusion, the trending fashions and the most popular television shows are not doing justice to our beloved cultures and ethics. They

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

are corrupting

youngstars

Correct your spelling

youngsters

young stars

into thugs.

Submitted by sisalt100 on Tue Sep 03 2024

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general

Try to avoid minor grammatical errors and typos such as 'developement' should be 'development' and 'focusing' should replace 'forcusing'.

task achievement

It's important to balance your arguments. While you mentioned the negative impacts of Westernization, it might be beneficial to acknowledge some positives too, to present a balanced view.

general

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

You have provided relevant examples to support your points, such as the mention of 'Mission Impossible' and the impact on traditional dressing.

coherence cohesion

There is a logical flow of ideas, particularly in the way you transition from the fashion industry to the film industry.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

315 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural homogenization
globalization
cultural exchange
economic disparities
media monopoly
standardized brands
quality assurance
local businesses
homogenized global culture
exposure to international markets
job creation
loss of cultural identity
peace and reducing conflicts
media ownership
viewpoints
global brands
traditions and languages
economic opportunities
fostering peace
high-quality products

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Differences between countries are barely evident these days . Everyone in the world is wearing the same brands and watching the same TV channels and movies. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

some children spend hours everyday on smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sport which are played in teams, like footbool, while other people think that taking part in individuals sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many professional sports, there is a increase in the number of athletes used banned substances to improve their performance. what are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+