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Differences between countries are barely evident these days . Everyone in the world is wearing the same brands and watching the same TV channels and movies. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

#differences #countries #world #brands #tv #channels #movies #development
Nowadays, technology has made everyone around the
world
 live the same life, they wear similar clothing
lables
Correct your spelling
labels
 and
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 Television shows.
This
 essay will examine
this
 view and explain why I believe that it is not a favourable
developement
Correct your spelling
development
. I call
this
 transition "Westernisation",
this
 is because we only find Western culture being marketed and forced
among
Change preposition
on
show examples
 us. Europe has the biggest
fashion
 industry in the
world
,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
such
their product
Fix the agreement mistake
its products
show examples
 are sold all over the
world
 through popular
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
 and
fashion
 models.
This
 has made our native African and Asian communities
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
adopt these
fashion
 trends and
abondon
Correct your spelling
abandon
 our own traditional dressing which is now viewed as backward.
For instance
, jeans and leather jackets are now popular everywhere because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that is
 what the market is exposing us to.
In addition
, America owns the biggest film industry
world wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
show examples
.
This
 gives them the monopoly to dominate the TV programs shown on the Televisions.
This
 is because they have quality and quantity so their productions trend faster and become popular
over night
Correct your spelling
overnight
show examples
. These companies have money to market their programs making any other small production meaningless.
For instance
, the production of the movie called "Mission Impossible" was worth $200 million USD.
This
 shows how big these individuals are, so all TV channels scramble to
such
marvelous
Change the spelling
marvellous
show examples
 productions
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their viewers. In
this
 regard, I certainly believe that these changes are not good for our culture because we are losing our originality. We are
forcusing
Correct your spelling
focusing
 of other people's dressing and throwing away our decent sense of
fashion
. These TV programs are showing us certain
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 that we do not condone as Africans,
such
 as
same sex
Add a hyphen
same-sex
show examples
 marriages. Surely I say these actions are not good for us. In conclusion, the trending fashions and the most popular television shows are not doing justice to our beloved cultures and ethics. They
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
are corrupting
youngstars
Correct your spelling
youngsters
young stars
 into thugs.
Submitted by sisalt100 on

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general
Try to avoid minor grammatical errors and typos such as 'developement' should be 'development' and 'focusing' should replace 'forcusing'.
task achievement
It's important to balance your arguments. While you mentioned the negative impacts of Westernization, it might be beneficial to acknowledge some positives too, to present a balanced view.
general
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, such as the mention of 'Mission Impossible' and the impact on traditional dressing.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow of ideas, particularly in the way you transition from the fashion industry to the film industry.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural homogenization
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • economic disparities
  • media monopoly
  • standardized brands
  • quality assurance
  • local businesses
  • homogenized global culture
  • exposure to international markets
  • job creation
  • loss of cultural identity
  • peace and reducing conflicts
  • media ownership
  • viewpoints
  • global brands
  • traditions and languages
  • economic opportunities
  • fostering peace
  • high-quality products
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