In many countries today, there are concerns about the unhealthy lifestyles that people lead. What health issues are linked to modern lifestyles? What answers to these problems can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer, and support your essay with ideas and examples from your own experience.

In
this
era,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of nations are suffering from
unhealthy
Add an article
an unhealthy
show examples
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
causing
plothera
Correct your spelling
plethora
of
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
issues. In
this
essay, I am
explain
Wrong verb form
explaining
show examples
some major
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
show examples
happen with
this
lifestyle and providing some
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
that can help to control
this
major concern.
To begin
with, obesity is one of the major
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
this
Change preposition
in this
show examples
modern lifestyle. Modern technology is making forks more
lathergic
Correct your spelling
lethargic
and lazy.
For instance
, the
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
of
toronto
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Toronto
show examples
provide
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provides
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
data in which they
says
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say
show examples
the percentage of overweight people
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
by 11% in 2024
comparied
Correct your spelling
compared
to 2021.
Hence
, obesity is becoming the biggest
problem
for major health
problem
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problems
show examples
such
as heart
attack
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attacks
show examples
.
Additional
Change the word
Additionally
show examples
, another important factor of modern
life
is
Correct article usage
the overusage
show examples
overusage
Correct your spelling
overuse
of
moblie
Correct your spelling
mobile
which
effect
Verb problem
affects
show examples
the human body
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
numerous ways.
For example
, it
effects
Replace the word
affects
show examples
the eye side of forks
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at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
early age and
lead
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leads
show examples
to a serious
problem
. In recent studies, Time of
india
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India
show examples
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
,
70
Correct word choice
that 70
show examples
% of children
needs
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need
show examples
eye glasses
Correct your spelling
eyeglasses
show examples
in their teenage. To protect
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
from
this
major
problem
, people should start changing their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Individual
Add an article
An individual
The individual
show examples
should not
start
Add the particle
start to
show examples
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
their whole chores on electronic
devies
Correct your spelling
devices
.
For example
, less usage of
moble
Correct your spelling
mobile
show examples
helps to stay active which can help to control their obesity
problem
as well as
helps to control
eye sight
Correct your spelling
eyesight
show examples
issues. In my opinion, modern
technolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
helps to make human
life
easy, but
overusage
Correct your spelling
overuse
of any things
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
harmful
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
human
life
.
Submitted by taniamall786 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve your score, work on developing a clearer logical structure for your essay. Use topic sentences to clearly introduce each paragraph's main idea.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points are fully and clearly explained. Some ideas in your essay lack development and clarity.
task achievement
Pay attention to your use of examples. Make sure they are clearly connected to the point you are trying to make.
language accuracy
Working on your grammar and vocabulary will help improve the overall clarity and coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding the main points you are making.
task achievement
You address multiple aspects of the topic, including both problems and potential solutions, which shows a comprehensive approach.
task achievement
Your examples, although needing clearer connection, show that you are attempting to support your points with concrete evidence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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