These days, many people rely on traditional medicines instead of visiting their doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Today’s
era, a number of Change preposition
In today’s
people
still believe and
turn to traditional Change preposition
in and
medicine
. In my opinion, this
is negative
development which can lead to lack of Correct article usage
a negative
lack of
Remove the redundancy
apply
vegulation
in Correct your spelling
regulation
health
system and Add an article
the health
difficult
Replace the word
difficulty
to get
some traditional Change preposition
in getting
medicine
and its risk
.
One serious problem that can arise from Fix the agreement mistake
risks
Change the verb form
relying
rely
traditional Add the preposition
rely on
rely upon
medicine
is that it can lead to possibility
Add an article
the possibility
to be
infected again with the same disease. Change preposition
of being
In other words
, since there is no medical insurance the probability of getting the disease again is 100%,for instance
, bone fractures, using physical therapy to treat this
leads to getting infected again because they do not heal completely. furthermore
, There is no full responsibility in traditional treatment
when the injury returns again, as in modern medical treatment
which puts the lives of people
who use traditional medicines at risk.
Another issue is that difficult to get some traditional medicine
and its risk. To put it simply,With the advancement of medicine
, people
are no longer interested in natural remedies, which has led to their disappearance more quickly.Thousands of years ago, people
would travel long distances to search for rare plants, for example
, whereas
now it has become easier to get treatment
with the
medical development, Correct article usage
apply
so
We conclude from Correct word choice
apply
this
that searching for traditional treatment
is risky and that the difficulty of obtaining it is greater than the benefit of using it.
In conclusion, although
the development in medical Change preposition
despite
treatment
, some people
still use traditional treatment
without considering its negatives and harms.Submitted by s_syedy on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and states your viewpoint in a concise manner.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay follows a clear structure, with each paragraph addressing a single main point.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition in your writing to maintain clarity and fluidity.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points and add depth to your essay.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are clearly presented and comprehensively developed. Expand on each point adequately.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and a clear stance on the issue.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay and reiterates the viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure and includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as the one about physical therapy and bone fractures, adds relevance to your arguments.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.