It is important for people to take risks. Both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

There is no denying that it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional and personal
lives
. I
wholeheartdly
Correct your spelling
wholeheartedly
believe that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages. I
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
show examples
this
view with arguments in the following paragraphs. First and foremost, something is better than nothing. If you are going to start your own business, you probably have to invest in
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
. But, if you are constantly thinking about cons and difficult
taks
Correct your spelling
tasks
task
.
As a result
, you will never
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
successful. Taking
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
in professional
life
is
compoulsary
Correct your spelling
compulsory
, if your dream is high
then
sky
Add an article
the sky
show examples
is the limit. To
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
, famous
billioners
Correct your spelling
billionaires
such
as Elon
musk
Capitalize word
Musk
show examples
,
Iman
Correct word choice
and Iman
show examples
gadzhi
Change the capitalization
Gadzhi
show examples
struggle with their
life
by taking hard things but
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the end, they succeed.
Last
but not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
least, we need to take
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
in
personal
Correct pronoun usage
our personal
show examples
lives
. As an example, when we are going to choose our
life
partner for marriage, we constantly
thinking
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
that
Change preposition
about
show examples
if
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
it is beneficial for us or not. We always think about
if
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
our partner will be toxic.
On the other hand
, other
person
Change the wording
people
show examples
lose interest immediately.
On the contrary
,
getting
Verb problem
taking
show examples
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
in both professional
lives
and personal
life
is good. To my way of thinking, people need to take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
wisely. From my perspective, sometimes our one step
got
Wrong verb form
gets
show examples
worse. To elucidate, I strongly opine that, most
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
people in the world take
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
in their
lives
. Without taking
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
in
life
, we will
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
nothing. Whether,
if
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
your working
life
or your family.
However
, the pros of taking
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
is higher than
its
Change the word
the
show examples
cons.
Submitted by kirivlogs0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

complete response
Try to develop your arguments more clearly and comprehensively. Provide specific examples and explanations for each point to make your essay more convincing.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant examples and explanations. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
supported main points
Use more complex sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary to demonstrate your language proficiency. This will help in conveying your ideas more effectively.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which helps in structuring your response.
relevant specific examples
You have provided a reasonable number of relevant examples to support your points, which is important for a higher score in task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: