It is important for people to take risks. Both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is no denying that it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional and personal

lives

Use synonyms

. I

wholeheartdly

Correct your spelling

wholeheartedly

believe that

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages. I

agree

Add the preposition

agree on

agree to

agree with

show examples

this

Linking Words

view with arguments in the following paragraphs. First and foremost, something is better than nothing. If you are going to start your own business, you probably have to invest in

company

Add an article

the company

a company

show examples

. But, if you are constantly thinking about cons and difficult

taks

Correct your spelling

tasks

task

As a result

Linking Words

, you will never

get

Verb problem

show examples

successful. Taking

Use synonyms

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

in professional

life

Use synonyms

compoulsary

Correct your spelling

compulsory

, if your dream is high

then

Linking Words

sky

Add an article

the sky

show examples

is the limit. To

illustrates

Correct subject-verb agreement

illustrate

show examples

, famous

billioners

Correct your spelling

billionaires

such

Linking Words

as Elon

musk

Capitalize word

Musk

show examples

Iman

Correct word choice

and Iman

show examples

gadzhi

Change the capitalization

Gadzhi

show examples

struggle with their

life

Use synonyms

by taking hard things but

Linking Words

Change preposition

show examples

the end, they succeed.

Last

Linking Words

but not

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

least, we need to take

Use synonyms

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

personal

Correct pronoun usage

our personal

show examples

lives

Use synonyms

. As an example, when we are going to choose our

life

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partner for marriage, we constantly

thinking

Wrong verb form

think

show examples

that

Change preposition

about

show examples

Correct word choice

whether

show examples

it is beneficial for us or not. We always think about

Correct word choice

whether

show examples

our partner will be toxic.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, other

person

Change the wording

people

show examples

lose interest immediately.

On the contrary

Linking Words

getting

Verb problem

taking

show examples

Use synonyms

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

in both professional

lives

Use synonyms

and personal

life

Use synonyms

is good. To my way of thinking, people need to take

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

wisely. From my perspective, sometimes our one step

got

Wrong verb form

gets

show examples

worse. To elucidate, I strongly opine that, most

successfull

Correct your spelling

successful

people in the world take

Use synonyms

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

in their

lives

Use synonyms

. Without taking

Use synonyms

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

life

Use synonyms

, we will

acheive

Correct your spelling

achieve

nothing. Whether,

Correct your spelling

show examples

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

your working

life

Use synonyms

or your family.

However

Linking Words

, the pros of taking

Use synonyms

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

is higher than

its

Change the word

the

show examples

cons.

Submitted by kirivlogs0 on Wed Sep 04 2024

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complete response

Try to develop your arguments more clearly and comprehensively. Provide specific examples and explanations for each point to make your essay more convincing.

clear comprehensive ideas

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant examples and explanations. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.

supported main points

Use more complex sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary to demonstrate your language proficiency. This will help in conveying your ideas more effectively.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which helps in structuring your response.

relevant specific examples

You have provided a reasonable number of relevant examples to support your points, which is important for a higher score in task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

What to do next:

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It is important for people to take risks. Both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Online education is becoming more and more common. Some people believe that it has so many advantages that it will replace traditional education. Others say that traditional education cannot be replaced. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously?

Traffic and accommodation problems are increasing and government should encourage some businesses to move from cities to rural areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?