Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people often think that
competition
in daily, professional and school life
is a good thing, while
, some believe that, sometimes we should try to cooperate more rather than competing against each other. Let's have a look at both of these views and reach a concrete decision.
To begin
with, i
think challenges in workplaces and in our normal Change the capitalization
I
life
is
an effective thing. BecauseCorrect subject-verb agreement
are
,
the benefits we get Remove the comma
apply
are depends
on how much Change the verb form
depend
hardwork
we do. Correct your spelling
hard work
For example
, if a person
who is running a small business consider
another Correct subject-verb agreement
considers
person
as his competitor, and he wants to conquer him, he put
his nose to the grindstone. Wrong verb form
puts
On the contrary
, i
think Change the capitalization
I
competition
between young children is not beneficial for them. Because,
it can fall their confidence and they might think Remove the comma
apply
theirselves
as losers. So, it depends Correct your spelling
themselves
at
which Change preposition
on
state
of Correct your spelling
stage
life
the competitions
is necessary.
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
Secondly
, yes, i
agree with Change the capitalization
I
this
statement that sometimes we need cooperation in comparison to do
Unnecessary verb
apply
competition
with another person
. However
, the reason behind this
logic is that,
every Remove the comma
apply
person
has strengths and weaknesses. As an example, we consider one person
as our competitor, because he might be good in algebra. In contrast
, we should think that, if that particular person
is good at that specific thing, then
i
am Change the capitalization
I
also
professional in computer
or some other things that he might be not. From my perspective, every individual is someone's ideal, so, Fix the agreement mistake
computers
i
completely agree with Change the capitalization
I
this
view.
In conclusion, i
think Change the capitalization
I
competition
is not effective at every stage of life
, especially in kids in schools where they need to become confident. Similarly
, in some points of life
, we should try to cooperate with others especially with our seniors or juniors, rather than competing with them.Submitted by kirivlogs0 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a clearer structure. Consider making each main point a separate paragraph and use clear topic sentences to guide the reader.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to back up your arguments. This will help to illustrate your points more effectively and make them more persuasive.
general
Work on eliminating minor grammatical errors and refining your vocabulary to make your essay more polished.
task achievement
You have addressed both views as required by the task and provided your opinion clearly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your arguments.
task achievement
You acknowledged both positive and negative aspects of competition, showing a balanced perspective.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?