IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Tourism is one of the fasstest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Tourism
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 can easily be set up in any
sites
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site
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 around the world, and
this
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 leads to the
thrive
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thriving
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 of
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tourism
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the tourism
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industry
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; the fastest growth brings about a great deal to economies around the world. Yet, the consequences left behind to local cultures and environment are barely
Correct article usage
a concerned
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concerned
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concern
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. Personally, the claim about
this
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 topic is agreeable as the damage is seen. There are reasons to be elaborated as
following
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follows
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.
Initially
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, since
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tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
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industry
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 relies on natural resources available in the
area
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, the business can be run as soon as the venue is open to
public
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the public
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.
This
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ressults
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results
 in most developments
occuring
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occurring
 in the site of
tourism
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 where money flows more and more jobs
that
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apply
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are created.
For example
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, in Nakhonnayok province - a little town close to Bangkok - are there many waterfalls and streams as it is part of Kao Yai National Park. Once the park was open to
public
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the public
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,
toursits
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tourists
 from the
neighboring
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neighbouring
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 cities
as well as
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 far from every part of Thailand have been coming to enjoy
the
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apply
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nature, resulting in the rapid growth of the town and its economy in which more local people are employed for the service
industry
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.
Nontheless
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Nonetheless
, the impact of
tourism
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 on ways of life in the town is left yet hardly solved. The natural resources have been exploited, and only time can help heal. Certainly, the cost of fixing is
alway
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always
 higher than what has
beeen
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been
 invested in creating;
therefore
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, the local traditions and ways of
the
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apply
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clocal
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local
 life start to fade away or become
detriorated
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deteriorated
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the environmental impact can be immense; some resources are irreversible.
For instance
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, the path built for visitors to access the waterfall in the national park needs
the
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apply
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forest clearing. Many rare trees could become extinct, or some animal species could
recieve
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receive
 the effect as their habitat is disturbed. In conclusion,
tourism
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 brings in more income to people in the
area
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 where there are tourists. It is good for those in the
area
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 to see the growth and
develoments
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development
developments
,
leveling
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levelling
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 up the life standard in the
area
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.
However
Linking Words
, the damage caused by
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tourism
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the tourism
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 business cannot be overlooked as the impact could be
unpredictedly
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unpredictably
unpredictable
unpredicted
 expected.
This
Linking Words
 means that the government should take
an
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apply
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action to prevent any risks that may occur in the future, and
at
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in
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 the
mean time
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meantime
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, the pressing issue
from
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of
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 the
tourism
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industry
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 should be urgently solved.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clearer structure in the paragraphs. Each main point should have a clear, separate paragraph. This will enhance the logical flow of the essay.
task achievement
Pay attention to minor grammatical and punctuation errors as they can distract the reader.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support each argument. This will make your points stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear response to the topic with relevant points about both the economic benefits and the negative impacts of tourism.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the main points of the essay.
task achievement
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and attempts to use complex sentence structures.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic benefits
  • cultural awareness
  • environmental degradation
  • biodiversity
  • commercialization
  • cultural heritage
  • sustainable tourism
  • eco-friendly initiatives
  • responsible travel
  • government regulation
  • community structure
  • cultural erosion
  • tourism development
  • foster cultural exchange
  • resource depletion
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