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Band 5

Tourism is one of the fasstest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#tourism #fasstest #industries #economies #world #damage #cultures #environment
Tourism
 can easily be set up in any
sites
Fix the agreement mistake
site
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 around the world, and
this
 leads to the
thrive
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thriving
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 of
tourism
Add an article
the tourism
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industry
; the fastest growth brings about a great deal to economies around the world. Yet, the consequences left behind to local cultures and environment are barely
Correct article usage
a concerned
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concerned
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concern
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. Personally, the claim about
this
 topic is agreeable as the damage is seen. There are reasons to be elaborated as
following
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follows
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.
Initially
, since
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
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industry
 relies on natural resources available in the
area
, the business can be run as soon as the venue is open to
public
Add an article
the public
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.
This
ressults
Correct your spelling
results
 in most developments
occuring
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occurring
 in the site of
tourism
 where money flows more and more jobs
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are created.
For example
, in Nakhonnayok province - a little town close to Bangkok - are there many waterfalls and streams as it is part of Kao Yai National Park. Once the park was open to
public
Correct article usage
the public
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,
toursits
Correct your spelling
tourists
 from the
neighboring
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neighbouring
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 cities
as well as
 far from every part of Thailand have been coming to enjoy
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature, resulting in the rapid growth of the town and its economy in which more local people are employed for the service
industry
.
Nontheless
Correct your spelling
Nonetheless
, the impact of
tourism
 on ways of life in the town is left yet hardly solved. The natural resources have been exploited, and only time can help heal. Certainly, the cost of fixing is
alway
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always
 higher than what has
beeen
Correct your spelling
been
 invested in creating;
therefore
, the local traditions and ways of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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clocal
Correct your spelling
local
 life start to fade away or become
detriorated
Correct your spelling
deteriorated
.
Moreover
, the environmental impact can be immense; some resources are irreversible.
For instance
, the path built for visitors to access the waterfall in the national park needs
the
Correct article usage
apply
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forest clearing. Many rare trees could become extinct, or some animal species could
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 the effect as their habitat is disturbed. In conclusion,
tourism
 brings in more income to people in the
area
 where there are tourists. It is good for those in the
area
 to see the growth and
develoments
Correct your spelling
development
developments
,
leveling
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levelling
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 up the life standard in the
area
.
However
, the damage caused by
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
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 business cannot be overlooked as the impact could be
unpredictedly
Correct your spelling
unpredictably
unpredictable
unpredicted
 expected.
This
 means that the government should take
an
Correct article usage
apply
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action to prevent any risks that may occur in the future, and
at
Change preposition
in
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 the
mean time
Correct your spelling
meantime
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, the pressing issue
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
tourism
industry
 should be urgently solved.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clearer structure in the paragraphs. Each main point should have a clear, separate paragraph. This will enhance the logical flow of the essay.
task achievement
Pay attention to minor grammatical and punctuation errors as they can distract the reader.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support each argument. This will make your points stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear response to the topic with relevant points about both the economic benefits and the negative impacts of tourism.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the main points of the essay.
task achievement
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and attempts to use complex sentence structures.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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