The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#proportion #population #three #countries #information #features #comparisons

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The line graph illustrates the percentage of elderly

people

Use synonyms

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in several types of nations.

Overall

Linking Words

, there are three countries including the USA, Sweden and

Japan

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

the beginning which was 1940, older citizens in the USA accounted for the highest than other nations

shown

Verb problem

apply

show examples

However

Linking Words

Change preposition

show examples

the end of 2040,

Japan

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has been predicted to

Verb problem

have

show examples

the largest proportion of

people

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within age

Change preposition

aged

show examples

65 and more. In 1940, there were around 10% of the total population in the United States fulfilled by elderly inhabitants.

This

Linking Words

condition continued

increased

Change the verb form

to increase

show examples

until 1980 to roughly a quarter before fell to slightly below 15% in 2020.

However

Linking Words

, in 2040 it is expected to

over

Add a missing verb

be over

show examples

20% or onefold higher than 100 years ago. In Sweden itself, the proportion has

fluctuative

Correct your spelling

fluctuated

fluctuating

increased. In 1940, more

Change preposition

than 5

show examples

citizens

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of citizens

show examples

in non productive ages

then

Linking Words

will rise to about 20% in 2040. In

Japan

Use synonyms

, the population of

people

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with age 65 and more in 1940 was only roughly 5% and had a small

decreased

Replace the word

decrease

show examples

to under 5% in 1990 before rising to approximately 10% in 2020.

This

Linking Words

condition

then

Linking Words

is predicted to increase considerably

Change preposition

apply

show examples

20 years later.

Finally

Linking Words

, in 2040 there will be more than a quarter elderly

people

Use synonyms

Japan

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

will exceed the other two countries.

Submitted by hikmanurdin04 on Wed Sep 04 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words people, japan with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

220 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

proportion
population aged 65 and over
trends
upward trend
significant increase
decrease
specific points in time
starting point
ending points
highest proportion
lowest proportion
given period
timeline

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