Some people think that governments should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes. Other argue that this money should be spent for sports facilities for ordinary people. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Who was suitable to
received
an expenditure from the Change the verb
receive
government
between primary athletes
or typicalcitizen
? Correct your spelling
typical citizens
This
question is a topic for some people
which the ways will have
Verb problem
be
full
beneficial if the
Change the word
fully
government
spend money for
Change preposition
on
sport
utilities. Fix the agreement mistake
sports
This
essay will discuss to advantage
of Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
the
both ways.
First of all, the most important for Remove the article
apply
athletes
is a potential of physical. They must have to
practice and spend their many Verb problem
apply
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
for
the seasons of competition. Change preposition
in
Likewise
, the student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
that
have to study all of the year for Correct pronoun usage
apply
final
examination. All equipment Add an article
the final
were
basically to used for practice, Change the verb form
was
that is
a
mission of Correct article usage
the
institute
to find the best quality equipment for them. In national Correct article usage
the institute
Fix the agreement mistake
institutes
institute
they will receive some revenue from the Add a comma
institute,
government
for preparing the national athletes
team. For example
, Correct article usage
the Korea
Korea
football team’s national they were received Correct your spelling
Korean
fund
to support when they Fix the agreement mistake
funds
have
a match in Wrong verb form
had
FIFA
World Correct article usage
the FIFA
cup
.
Capitalize word
Cup
Secondly
, A
holistic health of Correct article usage
The
population
is Add an article
the population
a population
a
main policy of the minister. They should have Correct article usage
the
to
health
promote and contribute Change preposition
apply
Change preposition
to sport
sport
facilities because Change the noun form
sports
people
’s health is a
base of Correct article usage
the
country
. Add an article
the country
However
, in
pragmatically, it has a different procedure to contribute between athletes
and typical people
. For a lot of people
even if their
received the equipment, it is Change the pronoun
they
hardest
thoroughly to support all Replace the word
hard
citizen
and it will Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
use
high consumption. So, the Verb problem
cause
government
should
will have to prepare Verb problem
apply
place
or park for Correct article usage
a place
people
’s activity.
In conclusion, Primary athletes
and typical people
they
should be received Correct pronoun usage
apply
sport
facilities but in Change the noun form
sports
another ways
. Replace the adjective
another way
other ways
Nonetheless
, when regarding to
Remove the preposition
apply
expenditure
. I believe the primary Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
athletes
have greater demand more
than typical Correct quantifier usage
apply
people
and the government
should spend to top athletes
more
.Correct quantifier usage
apply
Submitted by jeebjib14 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The introduction needs to be clearer and more concise, clearly stating the topic and your stance. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and use topic sentences to introduce them.
task achievement
Use more varied and precise vocabulary to express your ideas, and avoid repetitive phrases. Proofread for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to enhance clarity and readability.
task achievement
Ensure each argument is fully developed with supporting examples and explanations. Discuss both sides of the argument evenly to provide a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure all ideas are logically connected. Use appropriate linking words and transitions to guide the reader through your essay smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a logical flow from one paragraph to the next. Each paragraph should focus on a single point that contributes to the overall argument.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
There is an effort to provide real-world examples, such as the reference to Korea’s football team, which is a good practice.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion sums up the argument effectively by restating your opinion and acknowledging the points discussed.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.