Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
In the modernized era, social media is a vehicle helping celebrities gain publicity's attention the fastest.
That is
why their private information also
can be exposed. Some audiences
feel that the private lives
of stars
should not be openly shared, In my point of view, I partly agree with this
perspective.
Firstly
, exposed private information will affect negatively their lives
, even their mental health. For example
, after a hard-working
day, Correct your spelling
hard working
stars
need to take a rest, they
have to deal with annoyance from paparazzi and fans. Correct word choice
and they
This
causes both mental and physical health problems, even their schedule for the next few days. Secondly
, meddling too much in the private lives
of idols and spreading them will bring a pessimistic view to other audiences
. To be specific, followers spend their time watching contributions
and achievements of people they love, not famous people's Correct article usage
the contributions
lives
. In a
negative environment, Change preposition
A
it
makes them lose their interest and happiness because everyone is focusing on the Correct pronoun usage
apply
stars
's private lives
more than one's dedication.
In some cases, popular people want to share
their private lives
to gain publicity's attention. Not only do they use media to share
their art or masterpieces, but as an instructor or vlogger, they want to share
their experiences. Moreover
, some celebrities upload videos and pictures about their families, the rewards
that Fix the agreement mistake
reward
audiences
can share
the feeling of celebration with them. This
creates a positive environment on the internet for the general public and particular superstars.
To sum up
, some audiences
agree that the private lives
of stars
should be protected, I agree partly that exposed private information has both advantages and disadvantages, which depend on the demands of those celebrities.Submitted by midden-02.tore on
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supported main points
Try to develop each main point with more detailed explanations and examples to fully illustrate your arguments. For instance, expand on how celebrities might be forced to interact with media against their will.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain coherence. Sometimes the ideas feel a bit isolated from one another, affecting the flow of the essay.
relevant specific examples
Offer more specific and concrete examples to make your arguments more compelling. For example, mention actual incidents involving celebrities and media.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify some ambiguous phrases or grammar mistakes to ensure clarity and precision in your message. For instance, instead of "follow up the feeling of celebration with them," you could say, "allowing the audience to share in their joy."
introduction conclusion present
The essay introduces the topic clearly and offers a balanced stance about the privacy of celebrities.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion restates the main points and provides a final opinion, effectively closing the essay.
supported main points
The supporting arguments are valid and relate specifically to private information impacting celebrities' lives and mental health.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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