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Writing Samples
Band 7

The two pie charts below show the marital status of the populations of Canada and Australia.

The two pie charts below show the marital status of the populations of Canada and Australia.
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The given two pie charts compare the marital status of two countries, which are
Canada
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 and
Australia
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, broken down into six categories for
Canada
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 and five for
Australia
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. As can be seen from the pie charts, the majority of
people
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 were separated but not divorced in
Canada
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,
similarly
Linking Words
, nearly half of the population were married in
Australia
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the percentages for single
people
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, widowed and divorced were similar.
However
Linking Words
,
same sex
Add a hyphen
same-sex
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 marriage existed only in
Canada
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. It is evident that there were more separated but not divorced
people
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 in
Canada
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 than in
Australia
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, by 53% and 41%, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, the number of married couples was higher in
Australia
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 than in
Canada
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 by 17%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the percentages of single
people
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, widowed and divorced were very close, their discrepancy was only 1%.
Besides
Linking Words
, it is interesting to note that there is a 3% of
same sex
Add a hyphen
same-sex
show examples
 marriage population in
Canada
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 but it was not categorized in
Australia
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, in contrast".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words canada, australia, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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