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Writing Samples
Band 5

Social media, such as Facebook, Twitter, are replacing face – to – face contact in this century. Do you think the advantage of this way outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #facebook #twitter #face #contact #century #advantage
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Social media has been one of the biggest
exmaples
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examples
 of
technolgical
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technological
 advancements which
has
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have
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competely
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completely
revolutinized
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revolutionized
 the ways of communication. In upcoming paragraphs, we will discuss both the pros and cons of using these
apps
.
To begin
 with, there are numerous benefits of using digital
apps
 for communication with
masses
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the masses
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. The predominant one
being
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is
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the
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apply
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convenience, as folks can connect themselves with their friends residing in a different part of the world without having to move out of their comfort of home.
Moreover
, it is a great way of staying in touch with your loved ones as
through
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apply
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video calls and face times
it
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apply
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feels
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feel
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 like same as meeting
in-person
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in person
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.
However
, if you don't feel like talking to someone you can always send them
message
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a message
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 via
messanger
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messenger
. To add more, in order to strengthen your bonds, these applications provide you with
a
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the
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 wonderful feature of reminding you of your loved ones' birthdays and anniversaries, which makes them feel that you have been thinking about them. Despite
of
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apply
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having lots of advantages, these wonderful
apps
 come with some disadvantages as well. The first and foremost is the lack of confidence in doing face-to-face talks with others as
mostly
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most
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 new generation folks prefer spending their
times
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time
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 on their smartphones rather than talking to their
closed
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close
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 ones. The kids are scared of talking in front of their family members let alone the public
speakings
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speaking
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 as they are not comfortable
in
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apply
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doing so. A survey conducted by Harward University states that 8 out of 10 youngsters prefer to chat rather than
to
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apply
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talk in person.
To conclude
,
although
 these social media applications have
lot
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a lot
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 of cons which can not be overlooked
for
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apply
show examples
the pros
but
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and
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 still positives of using these
apps
Rephrase
still
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seems
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seem
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 to outweigh the negatives.
Submitted by kaur75971 on

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task achievement
Try to address and develop both sides of the argument equally. Currently, the essay seems slightly more focused on the advantages, which may leave an impression of imbalance.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses clearly on one main idea with clear links between ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the essay's overall coherence and cohesion.
introduction conclusion
The essay effectively introduces the topic with a clear thesis statement, and it provides a conclusion that ties the main points together nicely.
coherence cohesion
There are relevant examples supporting the main ideas, such as the survey by Harvard University which adds credibility to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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