Evidence suggests that there is a significant rise in the number of money-consumers having willing to use a credit card more than cash. Although some disadvantages are accruing to credit card usage, I believe that advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

#evidence #rise #money-consumers #credit #card #cash #usage

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

is believe

Change the verb form

is believed

show examples

that

the

Correct article usage

show examples

number of

money-consumers

Correct your spelling

money consumers

show examples

use a

credit

Use synonyms

card

mort

Correct your spelling

show examples

than

cash

Use synonyms

.There are both merits and demerits,and I think that the benefits are greater than the drawbacks.

To begin

Linking Words

with,there are some benefits to

use

Wrong verb form

using

show examples

credit

Use synonyms

cards

Use synonyms

.First of all,it is

convenience

Replace the word

convenient

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to pay.People did not have to count

cash

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, and no

coins

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after they

paied

Correct your spelling

paid

.They can carry just

credit

Use synonyms

cards

Use synonyms

or nowadays we can insert

credit

Use synonyms

cards

Use synonyms

in their smartphone so we do not have to bring

wallet

Fix the agreement mistake

wallets

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to pay.

In addition

Linking Words

,it can improve the environment.The

cash

Use synonyms

was made with papers the tree

sacrifice

Wrong verb form

sacrificed

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for making money.It can

helps

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help

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to solve global warming

issue

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issues

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for saving

earth

Add an article

the earth

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However

Linking Words

,not all aspects of

credit

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cards

Use synonyms

are beneficial.

Firstly

Linking Words

,consumers pay with

Remove the article

apply

show examples

cash

Use synonyms

Correct pronoun usage

which

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makes small

change

Fix the agreement mistake

changes

show examples

Add a verb

It is

It was

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uncomfortable to bring

coins

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,and they did not use

coins

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frequently.People need to

seperate

Correct your spelling

separate

for

Change preposition

show examples

carry

coins

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and

cash

Use synonyms

together.

Secondly

Linking Words

cash

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need

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needs

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a lot of space to carry.

Wallet

Fix the agreement mistake

Wallets

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can be thick when they put in

cash

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a lot,so it can encourage

theif

Correct your spelling

them

can target them. In conclusion,despite the disadvantages, I opine that

credit

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cards

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are more beneficial than

cash

Use synonyms

Submitted by yskim3064 on Wed Sep 04 2024

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task achievement

Try to proofread your essay to correct grammar and spellings. For instance, 'It is believe' should be 'It is believed.'

task achievement

Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points. For example, you could mention certain industries or statistics on credit card usage.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure could be improved by clearly splitting ideas into separate paragraphs. For example, one paragraph for benefits and another for drawbacks.

coherence cohesion

Improve your transitions between points to make your essay more cohesive. For example, 'In addition' can follow a point about convenience instead of immediately switching topics.

coherence cohesion

You provided a clear introduction stating your opinion that advantages outweigh disadvantages.

task achievement

You included both positive and negative aspects of using credit cards, which shows a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

182 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cashless transactions
Contactless payments
Credit score
Debt accumulation
Financial management
Fraud protection
Interest rates
Liability
Loyalty programs
Merchant fees
Revolving credit
Secure transactions

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Fully explain your ideas

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Computer and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education Can AI enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

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In some countries, physical education is a compulsory subject for the leaving certificate. Some people suggest that this practice be abolished. Which view do you agree with? Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details.