It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
one of the most important
places
that all cities should have is public places
including various parks
and squares.
I subscribe to the notion that city
planners should constructed
plenty number of public Change the verb form
construct
places
because of quiet grounds although
it will be possible that outdoor places
change to detrimental places
threatening society's security.
firstly
, outdoor places
such
as parks
and amusement parks
are appropriate and ordinary locations for children and the older generation in order to spend their free time gratis beside parks
are special occasions for organizing various types of cultural events to improve people's lives meanwhile political events would be holden rally during election days . secondly
, improving city
infrastructure would influence not only people's welfare because the public bears some location for pastime but also
on
the economy because if the government dedicated an affordable budget to developing the Change preposition
apply
city
, it would generate quite
number of jobs and businesses.
Change the article
quite a
on the other hand
, it is possible that some public places
might change to insecure places
where illegal drug sellers supply substance
and delinquency and perilous coincidences may occur which Fix the agreement mistake
substances
it
is not safe for families and is beyond the Correct pronoun usage
apply
city
planners' expectations there for the officials have to be aware to pose restriction in order to decrease ventures.
as outlined above, parks
and squares change the city
's face and in some situations are able to reform the social fabric by organizing different meetings and cultural and religious events beside parents and kids can waste their time without extra charge although
it is possible that some coincidences occur in public places
but
if police are acted intelligence, Remove the conjunction
apply
family
may enjoy.Add an article
the family
a family
Submitted by pooya.sheytoon2 on
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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical structure of your essay by clearly delineating different points in separate paragraphs. This will make it easier for readers to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction accurately captures the essence of your essay and that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed.
task achievement
Try to support your main points with more concrete and specific examples. This will help make your argument more convincing and relevant.
task achievement
Work on developing each idea more thoroughly to ensure comprehensive understanding of your points.
task achievement
Clarify your language and avoid overly complex sentences to make your points clearer and more comprehensible.
coherence cohesion
You present a balanced view by considering both the benefits and potential drawbacks of public outdoor spaces.
task achievement
The essay covers a broad range of relevant points and touches on both social and economic impacts.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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