Some people think that professional sports players earn too much salary, especially when they do not seem to help peopleand societies the way people of other occupations such as doctors, teachers, and soldiers do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In recent years, there has been considerable debate about whether it is appropriate for
athletes
to receive salaries comparable to those in public service careers. Many argue that
while
athletes
may not contribute directly to societal well-being like doctors, teachers, or soldiers, their roles can
also
bring significant value to a nation. I firmly believe that professional
athletes
deserve substantial financial compensation for their achievements. Critics argue that
athletes
do not benefit society in meaningful ways and
thus
should not receive high salaries. They contend that many
athletes
are primarily focused on breaking records for personal gain, which does not directly impact public welfare.
Additionally
, excessive sports betting can result in financial difficulties for individuals, potentially leading to broader economic issues.
Conversely
, successful
athletes
often make significant personal sacrifices, dedicating much of their youth and time to rigorous training. They can inspire young people to engage in sports, promoting physical fitness and healthy lifestyles.
Moreover
, sports serve as a form of entertainment and bring joy to millions globally, similar to other entertainment industries.
While
athletes
may not provide tangible societal benefits in the same way as public service professionals, they contribute to public enjoyment and national pride. In conclusion, I strongly believe that professional
athletes
,
due to
their sacrifices and the positive impact they have on society through inspiration and entertainment, should be fairly compensated for their achievements. Their substantial salaries reflect not only their personal dedication but
also
the global enjoyment they provide.
Submitted by netika5646 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To enhance the essay, consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, you could mention well-known athletes who have made significant societal contributions or illustrate how sports events boost local economies.
coherence cohesion
While the logical structure of the essay is clear, working on seamless transitions between paragraphs can elevate cohesiveness. This will help the reader follow your points more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong and clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the arguments effectively.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced perspective on the topic, acknowledging both sides of the argument while clearly conveying your stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • justified
  • revenue
  • generate
  • advertisers
  • career span
  • compensation
  • entertainment
  • social cohesion
  • national pride
  • market dynamics
  • demand for skills
  • perceived societal value
  • inspire
  • engage
  • pursue
  • economic principles
  • essential services
  • salary structures
  • occupations
  • disparity
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!