IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Write a report describing the information in the graph below. You should write at least 150 words.

#report #information
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given chart compares the number of
computers
 and
internet
 usage in Arabian
countries
. The
countries
 consist of nine
countries
 which are Egypt, Jordan, Kuwait, Lebanon, Morocco, Oman, Saudi Arabia, Syria, and the United Arab Emirates. The majority of the country, will not have a big gap between those two things or even no difference at all.
However
, there is an exception where on UAE has a significant amount of
internet
 usage which roughly
doubling
Wrong verb form
doubles
show examples
 the number of
computers
.
Moreover
, either for
computers
 or the
internet
, the UAE
also
 has a substantial difference from other
countries
. UAE has more than 150.000 inhabitants and almost 350.000 inhabitants for the
computers
 and
internet
, respectively. Meanwhile, Egypt and Morocco have the same number of
computers
 and
internet
.
In addition
, both
countries
 have the same range which is under half of 50.000 inhabitants.
On the other hand
, there are
also
countries
 that have more
computers
 than
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
internet
 users. They are Kuwait and Saudi Arabia.
Submitted by rasyidrahma13 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your report presents most of the main features of the chart and makes some comparisons. However, it could be clearer in illustrating the differences among all the countries. Try to offer more precise numerical data for each country to better support your points.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is good overall, but you could benefit from organizing the information more systematically. Group similar countries or data points together and ensure each paragraph has a clear purpose. This would improve the flow of the report.
introduction conclusion present
You have successfully included an introduction and highlighted some prominent trends. This shows a good understanding of the data presented.
task achievement
You correctly identify exceptions and unique cases, such as the UAE having significantly higher internet usage. This demonstrates good analytical skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Graph, chart, axis, period, timeframe
  • Trend, increase, decrease, growth, decline
  • Stability, plateau, fluctuate, variability, inconsistency
  • Peak, trough, milestone, threshold, benchmark
  • Significant, considerable, marginal, slight, dramatic
  • Explanation, influence, factor, contribution, correlation
  • Projection, forecast, anticipate, predict
  • Surpass, exceed, fall below, remain constant, maintain
What to do next:
Look at other essays: