IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicles #passengers
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In the future, all vehicles will be autonomous. Passengers will be the only people inside them. I believe
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business
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businesses
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 can cut costs by using driverless
cars
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, and
this
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 advantage far outweighs any potential disadvantages. One downside of self-driving
cars
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 might be that they could lead to large employment losses. Nowadays, in many countries, a great number of people are making a living by driving, be they truckers, bus
drivers
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, or delivery couriers. Imagine all these people are made redundant by autonomous
cars
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. That would raise the
unemployement
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unemployment
 rates in these countries significantly.
However
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, I think
this
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 can be avoided if
drivers
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 reskill to get themselves a job in a new sector. On the positive side, driverless
cars
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 could help
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business
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businesses
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 reduce operating expenses.
This
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 is because, with these
cars
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, they would not need to hire
drivers
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 to deliver their products or services to their customers.
For example
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, the American logistic company UPS currently has hundreds of thousands of truck
drivers
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 and pays them an average of 60,000 dollars per year, which adds up to tens of billions of dollars annually. Replacing these
drivers
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 with autonomous
cars
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 would mean that these huge salary payments could be eliminated. I think
this
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 could create a great advantage for society as a whole because companies could devote the money they save on
labor
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labour
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 to other aspects of their
business
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, which could mean cheaper, better goods for consumers. In conclusion,
although
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 self-driving vehicles would result in many job losses, I believe
this
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 downside is greatly outweighed by the upside that these vehicles could help
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business
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businesses
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 save operating costs.
Submitted by adittyafatma on

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task achievement
To further enhance your essay, you could provide a bit more balanced analysis of the potential disadvantages of driverless vehicles. This would demonstrate a thorough consideration of both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that transitions between paragraphs are smooth and that each paragraph flows logically into the next. This can be achieved by using more transitional phrases.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, which frame your arguments well.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, such as the case of UPS, effectively supports your arguments and demonstrates the practical implications of your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • driverless vehicles
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • increased safety
  • reduced traffic congestion
  • improved efficiency
  • accessibility
  • disabled
  • elderly
  • job displacement
  • privacy concerns
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