The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree

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It is argued that the
workers
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require
Wrong verb form
are required
show examples
to obtain more long
Use synonyms
weekend
Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
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and the working week must be deducted. In my point of view,
i
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I
show examples
obviously agree with the essay because sometimes
the
Correct article usage
apply
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employers do not follow the regulation and
policy
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policies
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from
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of
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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and they need to put their attention
about
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to
show examples
the mental awareness of
employees
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when they want to
adding
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add
show examples
more working hours. It is crystal clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the
company
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need to follow the
regulation
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regulations
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for working
hour
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hours
show examples
for
workers
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. But, in common
case
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cases
show examples
,
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
use the weakness of employee contracts to put overtime
works
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work
show examples
without adding the income for
workers
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.
As a result
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, people who work for that
company
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do not have time to enjoy their
weekend
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holiday.
For instance
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, in my country, sometimes the private
company
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do not follow the policy that the
employees
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have 6 to 8 hours
for
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of
show examples
work each day.
In addition
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, if the
employees
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just have
Correct article usage
a slightly
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slightly
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slight
show examples
weekend
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, it will affect
to
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apply
show examples
their mental illness. I believe that
,
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apply
show examples
the
company
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need to
put
Verb problem
pay
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more attention
about
Change preposition
to
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this
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topic because it is not only for the health benefits for the
workers
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but
also
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for the
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company
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company's
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growth.
For example
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, in recent times, several companies have
program
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programs
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to
gathering
Wrong verb form
gather
show examples
with whole
of
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apply
show examples
employees
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in
Change preposition
at
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the
weekend
Use synonyms
. So, it is a really great idea to build
relationship
Correct article usage
a relationship
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each
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with each
show examples
other. Beside
ot
Correct your spelling
of
that, the advancement of technology
are
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is
show examples
of paramount importance to reduce work hours for several
position
Change to a plural noun
positions
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of occupations
such
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as content
creator
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creators
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, engineers and various jobs with use
the
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apply
show examples
Artificial
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of Artificial
show examples
Intelligence and
the
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apply
show examples
access
of
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to
show examples
the internet. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
agree that the working week
need
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needs
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to more
short
Replace the word
shorter
show examples
and the
employees
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need to have
more long
Correct word choice
longer
show examples
Use synonyms
weekend
Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
show examples
.
Consequently
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, both the
workers
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and the employers have benefits for themselves.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Try to provide clearer and more comprehensive ideas in your arguments to enhance the quality of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition and ensure each paragraph flows naturally from one to the next. This will improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that you use specific and varied examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing and robust.
coherence cohesion
Your essay effectively introduces and concludes the main ideas, providing a well-rounded argument.
task achievement
You have a clear and complete response to the topic, which shows your understanding of the question.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally clear, which helps in conveying your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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