A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter, describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts say how you think the company should spend the money
#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children’s #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback #summarise
Dear Sir/Madam,
I would like to thank you for your decision regarding
to spend
some money either on our junior Change the verb form
spending
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
team
members twice or giving two open concerts. so, I am writing this
letter to give my feedback on what should be done for
Change preposition
about
this
.
Firstly
, It is really beneficial for both to youngster's team
and your business if you choose to give sponsership
for two years to their Correct your spelling
sponsorship
team
by the
means of promoting your Correct article usage
apply
company
products too. Change noun form
company's
Moreover
, they will remeber
you for a long time for being Correct your spelling
remember
such
a nice businesman
and Correct your spelling
businessman
help
them and Wrong verb form
helping
few
of them might be Correct article usage
a few
sport
person in the future Change the noun form
sports
which
can give fame to you too. Correct pronoun usage
who
In addition
, the best thing of
doing Change preposition
about
this
will be that team
members can have their
sufficient supplies for Correct pronoun usage
apply
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
about
their game which is really very good for our community.
Change preposition
apply
Secondly
, another idea of spending expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
in
concerts like music, comedy or dancing, Change preposition
on
that
is Correct pronoun usage
which
also
stress
buster for our local people. Add an article
a stress
This
can be relexing
at certain Correct your spelling
relevant
time
. Fix the agreement mistake
times
Furthermore
, People can also
enjoy that night being with friends and family which will allow them sometime
Replace the word
some time
of being
away from Change preposition
to be
stressful
life.
In my opinion, both things will be beneficial. Add an article
the stressful
a stressful
However
, spending money on concerts will give you less benefit compare
to Wrong verb form
compared
sponsering
Correct your spelling
sponsoring
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
team
as concert
is going to be no more than 4 hours but the Add an article
the concert
a concert
team
members will remember you for a long period. So, I think you should support our children's sports and gaming team
.
Thank you for giving Fix the agreement mistake
teams
this
opportunity to general people to give you feedback.
Yours Faithfully,
Shuru.Submitted by parmarshreya897 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, consider elaborating more on the benefits of sponsoring the sports team with specific examples and details. This will help the reader understand the impact better.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should focus on a single idea for clarity. Combining too many concepts in one paragraph can make it harder for the reader to follow your line of thought.
task achievement
Try to refine your language to be more precise. Avoid minor grammatical and spelling errors to improve readability and professionalism.
task achievement
The letter has a polite and suitable tone for addressing the company, which is appropriate for this context.
coherence cohesion
Good use of greetings and closing in the letter, which adds to the formal tone and structure of the communication.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite