Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People
are divided into two groups when talking about how children
should learn
be social. Add the particle
learn to
Ones
think that Correct pronoun usage
Some
this
is parents
work, Change noun form
parents'
parent's
while
others believe that children
will learn in school life.
Usually
all old-generation Add a comma
Usually,
people
know how works
Correct article usage
the works
society
and have big experiences. Some parents
are not very social, and while
teaching their children
they could do
mistakes. Other Verb problem
make
parents
have psychological problems from childhood that
is
very big trouble in teaching. In many cases parent’s experiences are useless to Change the verb form
are
child
, it is caused by elders had lived in old Add an article
the child
a child
time
and Fix the agreement mistake
times
society
is very changed or when children
had
Wrong verb form
have
very
different environment from their Correct article usage
a very
parents
. For example
, imagine that kid
of Correct article usage
the kid
common
worker Correct article usage
a common
in
Change preposition
on
farm
wants to be Correct article usage
a farm
scientist
. Their Add an article
a scientist
society
very
Add a missing verb
is very
various
from each other, so sometimes Correct word choice
different
parents
will not understand their kid
. Fix the agreement mistake
kids
Noone
will guarantee that your Correct your spelling
No one
child
will live in equal conditions as you.
In
the other hand, Change preposition
On
child
will get very much experience if he Add an article
the child
a child
will interact
with other Wrong verb form
interacts
people
himself. He will analyze how behave
other Verb problem
apply
people
in some conditions and will adapt them
. But Change preposition
to them
this
is not always successful, because some children
will get psychological complexes and could be sociophobe
if their community Correct your spelling
sociophobes
will
not Verb problem
is
be
similar Verb problem
apply
to
Change preposition
apply
him
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For example
, little
one goes to school, and no one will Correct article usage
a little
not
talk with him and he Rephrase
apply
do
not know what to do. Or some Change the verb form
does
children
will be victims of bulling
that can ruin Correct your spelling
bullying
children
’s life
.
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
To sum up
, two
ways Correct article usage
the two
children
learn be
Fix the infinitive
to be
member
of Fix the agreement mistake
members
society
, have advantages and disadvantages caused by their method. In my opinion, both of them very
good if there Add a missing verb
are very
will not
troubles like I said before. So, the best way is between them, Verb problem
are no
parents
will give Correct your spelling
advice
advices
and Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
child
will practice it in his environmentCorrect article usage
the child
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coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more clearly. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Improve the depth and clarity of your arguments. Provide more specific examples and detailed reasoning to support your points.
general
Ensure your language is accurate and try to minimize errors in grammar and word choice to improve overall clarity.
task achievement
You've addressed both views on the topic and provided your own opinion, which meets the basic task requirements.
coherence cohesion
You've included an introduction and conclusion, providing a clear structure to your essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?