A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extend do you agree/ disagree with this option?

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Nowadays morals, ethics and
values
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of society are not considered when deciding
to
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on
show examples
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people
Change noun form
people's
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worth.
Instead
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social
status
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and materiality's important and ever-growing.
However
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, social
status
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is not an infinite value and it can lead the misunderstandings when meeting with
people
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. I strongly believe that a
person
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's worth should not judged by
such
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basic criteria.
Social
Correct article usage
The social
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status
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and wealth of
people
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can not stay with them forever when they do not look for them carefully. If we decide their
values
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regarding their
status
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when they lose it, our opinion should change
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
as well, which is not appropriate.
While
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being a valuable
person
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can be imagined as great, when
people
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lose that
status
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they can have strong suffer. Because they lose not only their social
status
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and wealth but
also
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their
values
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from
people
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's perspectives. I know a man who was incredibly rich,
when
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and when
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he lost her money he lost most of her friends as well,
even
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and even
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he
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apply
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divorced her wife. If her value was judged by her morals, kindness or
trustworthy
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trustworthiness
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, he would have still friends.
Moreover
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, giving
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values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
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to
people
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in terms of their
status
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and material possessions will lead to misunderstanding when meeting
people
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. With that bias
people
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can think that
people
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are respectful individuals and have good behaviour, actually who is not. Because a
person
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who has high-level
status
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,
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apply
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knows how to use her force.
For instance
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, I have a friend who dated an influencer, we all thought that he was a good
person
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because of her popularity,
however
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, we introduced her
another
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to another
show examples
face later.
To sum up
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, when we decide on
people
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's worth, we should consider their attitudes and old-fashioned
values
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,
instead
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of social level or material possessions.
Submitted by xxxx17 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction could be clearer, with a more precise statement of the position. Start with a concise overview of the topic and your stance.
task achievement
There are some grammar and lexical errors that may confuse the reader. Proofread your work to correct these errors and improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Some ideas could be developed further to enhance coherence. Consider adding more detailed examples and explanations for your main points.
task achievement
You've included a relevant example to support your point about social status and wealth not being permanent.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, helping to frame your argument.
task achievement
You have a clear position and address the topic effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social status
  • material possessions
  • traditional values
  • luxurious lifestyles
  • high social standing
  • prioritize
  • trustworthiness
  • values are upheld
  • charity
  • community involvement
  • tight-knit communities
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