A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extend do you agree/ disagree with this option?
Nowadays morals, ethics and
values
of society are not considered when deciding Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
Use synonyms
people
worth. Change noun form
people's
Instead
social Linking Words
status
and materiality's important and ever-growing. Use synonyms
However
, social Linking Words
status
is not an infinite value and it can lead the misunderstandings when meeting with Use synonyms
people
. I strongly believe that a Use synonyms
person
's worth should not judged by Use synonyms
such
basic criteria.
Linking Words
Social
Correct article usage
The social
status
and wealth of Use synonyms
people
can not stay with them forever when they do not look for them carefully. If we decide their Use synonyms
values
regarding their Use synonyms
status
when they lose it, our opinion should change Use synonyms
it
as well, which is not appropriate. Correct pronoun usage
apply
While
being a valuable Linking Words
person
can be imagined as great, when Use synonyms
people
lose that Use synonyms
status
they can have strong suffer. Because they lose not only their social Use synonyms
status
and wealth but Use synonyms
also
their Linking Words
values
from Use synonyms
people
's perspectives. I know a man who was incredibly rich, Use synonyms
when
he lost her money he lost most of her friends as well, Correct word choice
and when
even
Correct word choice
and even
he
divorced her wife. If her value was judged by her morals, kindness or Correct pronoun usage
apply
trustworthy
, he would have still friends.
Replace the word
trustworthiness
Moreover
, giving Linking Words
Use synonyms
values
to Fix the agreement mistake
value
people
in terms of their Use synonyms
status
and material possessions will lead to misunderstanding when meeting Use synonyms
people
. With that bias Use synonyms
people
can think that Use synonyms
people
are respectful individuals and have good behaviour, actually who is not. Because a Use synonyms
person
who has high-level Use synonyms
status
Use synonyms
,
knows how to use her force. Remove the comma
apply
For instance
, I have a friend who dated an influencer, we all thought that he was a good Linking Words
person
because of her popularity, Use synonyms
however
, we introduced her Linking Words
another
face later.
Change preposition
to another
To sum up
, when we decide on Linking Words
people
's worth, we should consider their attitudes and old-fashioned Use synonyms
values
, Use synonyms
instead
of social level or material possessions.Linking Words
Submitted by xxxx17
on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction could be clearer, with a more precise statement of the position. Start with a concise overview of the topic and your stance.
task achievement
There are some grammar and lexical errors that may confuse the reader. Proofread your work to correct these errors and improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Some ideas could be developed further to enhance coherence. Consider adding more detailed examples and explanations for your main points.
task achievement
You've included a relevant example to support your point about social status and wealth not being permanent.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, helping to frame your argument.
task achievement
You have a clear position and address the topic effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.