In the past, important knowledge about culture and history was stored in museums. Nowadays, information is freely available on the Internet; therefore, there is no longer any need for museums. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
People argue that there is no significant meaning for
museums
to exist, while
information
about history and culture can be freely accessed online, contemporarily. However
, I firmly disagree with the idea.
Undoubtedly, through the rapid advance
in Fix the agreement mistake
advances
technologies
, people are now able to learn Fix the agreement mistake
technology
knowledge
of culture and history on their laptops. For instance
, individuals can borrow literatures
Change the wording
literature
kinds of literature
pieces of literature
works of literature
in
online libraries, view a publication on Change preposition
from
wiki
and take a virtual tour of Add an article
the wiki
museum
if available. Add an article
the museum
a museum
Comparing
to a physical museum that Wrong verb form
Compared
finite
in scale and size, the Add a missing verb
is finite
internet
could Capitalize word
Internet
place to
store and display Verb problem
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
information
of
humanity more efficiently. Most importantly, the Change preposition
about
publics
can choose and locate the Fix the agreement mistake
public
knowledge
they interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
about
regardless Change preposition
in
which
part of the world they Change preposition
of which
were
from.
Wrong verb form
are
However
, there are drawbacks Correct pronoun usage
that came
came
with those Wrong verb form
come
knowledge
sources on internet
, as well. Online Add an article
the internet
contents
could be wrong. Unlike those stored in the Fix the agreement mistake
content
museums
, where most of knowledge
Add an article
the knowledge
were
based on former studies and edited by professionals, it is hard for Correct subject-verb agreement
was
individual
to separate whether the website is printing accurate descriptions about something. In that case, virtual Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
information
could be misleading something, which would counter the initial purposes of learning. Furthermore
, visiting museums
is a valuable opportunity to appreciate the collections within close distance. Although
people may view pictures, videos and virtual guide
online, standing Fix the agreement mistake
guides
front
of a physical object in Change preposition
in front
the
reality could be a completely different visual effect.
Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, closing museums
would be an immature thought. While
information
and knowledge
could be misleading and less attractive on the internet, museums
take an irreplaceable position providing accurate records of culture and history, as well as
an opportunity to contact the collection face to face.Submitted by kejian_shi on
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coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher band, make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your ideas flow smoothly from one to the next. You could use more varied linking words to show different types of relationships between your points.
task achievement
Try to develop some of your main points a bit further. For instance, elaborate on the benefits of face-to-face interactions with artifacts and provide more detailed examples or evidence to support your claims.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to minimize errors. Paying attention to grammar rules like subject-verb agreement and use of articles will make your essay more polished.
task achievement
Try providing more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will help make your argument more convincing and relatable.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position, and this is consistent throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure with clear paragraphs that address different aspects of the issue.
coherence cohesion
There is a good conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion clearly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.