In many countires women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and, therefore, do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. Do you agree or disagree?
The minds of the female population in the world about marriage
is
changing, the outcome is that the quantity of people that choose Correct subject-verb agreement
are
wedding
is reducing all Fix the agreement mistake
weddings
arround
the Correct your spelling
around
word
. In Correct your spelling
world
this
essay
we will see why Add a comma
essay,
this
is a
positive and is making Change the article
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
women
more happy, financial
secure and improving their lives.
Change the adjective
financially
Firstly
, the cultural change of our population allows the women
elect
if they want to get married or not. Nowadays, Fix the infinitive
to elect
the
forced marriage or the pressure of Correct article usage
apply
the
society to get married is almost Correct article usage
apply
inexsistent
. A classical example of Correct your spelling
inexistent
nonexistent
that is
that in our times, a woman can live all her life without beeing
married, and Correct your spelling
being
that is
not a shame anymore. Thus
, reducing this
social pressure is allowing woman
to choose if they really want to celebrate a wedding or not.
Fix the agreement mistake
women
Secondly
, the economic independence of the women
means that a woman do
not need to get married to secure an income. In our days, the female population is allowed to study, work, open a bank account and buy Change the verb form
does
propieties
. That was different before. Correct your spelling
properties
proprieties
For example
, in Spain the
Correct article usage
apply
women
can
not open a bank account until 1974. Wrong verb form
could
As a result
, adult females at this
time can have their own money, and do not need a men
for sustent.
In conclusion, the descent of marriages is Correct the article-noun agreement
a man
men
a
good Correct article usage
apply
new
related Correct your spelling
news
with
the social position of Change preposition
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
women
. At the moment, the
adult females can have their own sustent, Correct article usage
apply
live
without the Correct word choice
and live
necesity
of Correct your spelling
necessity
a men
to earn money. Correct the article-noun agreement
men
a man
As a result
, women
are more independent, more happy and the
most important, will choose if they want to get married or not.Correct article usage
apply
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task achievement
While you have addressed the task adequately, some ideas lack depth. Provide more detailed examples or elaboration to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the topic sentences of your paragraphs clearly introduce the main ideas, and make sure all sentences within a paragraph support that main idea. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structures, grammar, and word choices to enhance clarity and reduce minor errors. This will make your points clearer and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively set the stage and summarize your arguments.
task achievement
You did well in recognizing and addressing key points related to women's financial independence and societal changes as reasons for the decline in marriage rates.
Your opinion
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