In many countires women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and, therefore, do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. Do you agree or disagree?

#countires #women #people #income #security #marriage

The minds of the female population in the world about marriage

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

changing, the outcome is that the quantity of people that choose

wedding

Fix the agreement mistake

weddings

show examples

is reducing all

arround

Correct your spelling

around

the

word

Correct your spelling

world

show examples

. In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

we will see why

this

Change the article

apply

show examples

positive and is making

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

women

more happy,

financial

Change the adjective

financially

show examples

secure and improving their lives.

Firstly

, the cultural change of our population allows the

women

elect

Fix the infinitive

to elect

show examples

if they want to get married or not. Nowadays,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

forced marriage or the pressure of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society to get married is almost

inexsistent

Correct your spelling

inexistent

nonexistent

. A classical example of

that is

that in our times, a woman can live all her life without

beeing

Correct your spelling

being

married, and

that is

not a shame anymore.

Thus

, reducing

this

social pressure is allowing

woman

Fix the agreement mistake

women

show examples

to choose if they really want to celebrate a wedding or not.

Secondly

, the economic independence of the

women

means that a woman

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not need to get married to secure an income. In our days, the female population is allowed to study, work, open a bank account and buy

propieties

Correct your spelling

properties

proprieties

. That was different before.

For example

, in Spain

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

women

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

not open a bank account until 1974.

As a result

, adult females at

this

time can have their own money, and do not need

a men

Correct the article-noun agreement

a man

men

show examples

for sustent. In conclusion, the descent of marriages is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

new

Correct your spelling

news

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

the social position of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

women

. At the moment,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adult females can have their own sustent,

live

Correct word choice

and live

show examples

without the

necesity

Correct your spelling

necessity

a men

Correct the article-noun agreement

men

a man

show examples

to earn money.

As a result

women

are more independent, more happy and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

most important, will choose if they want to get married or not.

Submitted by pabloenriquevicente on Thu Sep 05 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

While you have addressed the task adequately, some ideas lack depth. Provide more detailed examples or elaboration to strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the topic sentences of your paragraphs clearly introduce the main ideas, and make sure all sentences within a paragraph support that main idea. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Work on sentence structures, grammar, and word choices to enhance clarity and reduce minor errors. This will make your points clearer and more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively set the stage and summarize your arguments.

task achievement

You did well in recognizing and addressing key points related to women's financial independence and societal changes as reasons for the decline in marriage rates.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Discuss advantages and disadvantages of social media!
Social media has made a revolution in communications, giving both advantages and disadvantages in the world. On the positive side, it educate global connectivity, and serves as a powerful tool for information dissemination. However, the spread of misinformation, dangerous about mental health impacts.
7
band
In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?
Nowadays, youths choose to spend more time with their friends rather than accompany their families. This essay will explore the multifaceted reasons and discuss whether parents should make youngsters spend more time at home before arriving at a conclusion.
6
band
Nowadays people are working too hard,what is the reason for that. what should employers do to prevent people form this.
The contemporary issue of, employees working to exhaustion has raised significant concerns. Many people go this far because they are afraid of losing their employment. Nonetheless, organizations hold the key to preventing this by outlining achievable duties within the scheduled work hours. Examining this problem and exploring potential solutions provides valuable insights into addressing this issue.
5
band
Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree whit this statement?
Becoming ageing society, extension about retiring age has been discussed recently. Some believe it is inevitable to have longer retirement age limit, while others deem it is not the right time for it. I totally agree with the former statement that the age when retiring should be extended. This essay will examine both perspective and the reason why I believe the argument.
4.5
band
you recently organised an all- day meeting for your compagny, which took place in a local hotel. In their feedback, participant at the meeting said that they liked the hotel, but they were un happy about the food that was served for lunch. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter - say what the participants liked about the hotel - explain why they were unhappy about the food - suggest what the manager should do to improve the food in future
I am writing to submit my feedback about the meetings of the company Where hold in Palza Hotel.As I was organiser of the event was going well and participants of the meetings liked the hotel unless the lunch meals.Firstly, all the staffs who work there were warm welcome and the reception has a comfort sitting with fascinating decoration.Additionally, the meeting hall provided by control system air conditionan and excellent light.Evenmore, you can notice the cleanest of the hotel even the toilets

In many countires women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and, therefore, do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. Do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Discuss advantages and disadvantages of social media!

In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

Nowadays people are working too hard,what is the reason for that. what should employers do to prevent people form this.

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree whit this statement?