Children nowadays watch significantly more television than those in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activüy among children? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience.

These days, it has been noticed that kids spend more
time
watching television when compared to the past and
this
has led to increased sedentary lifestyles among them.
This
problem is
due to
parent's
Fix the agreement mistake
parents'
show examples
long working hours and modern family rules
however
this
can be tackled by encouraging
parents
to spend quality
time
with their offspring and
also
allow their
children
to bond with neighbours or friends.
To begin
with, young ones spend a significant hour of the day watching TV shows than in the past because unlike in the old times when mothers were full housewives and their primary responsibility was to care for their
home
nowadays wives now have to work and both
parents
spend half of their day at working afterwards they come back
home
tired which result into lesser
time
for interaction with
children
.In other to avoid distractions from
children
when
parents
are trying to prepare meals or planning for the next working day they permit their
children
to watch television increasing their inactive period and screen
time
.
In addition
, modernization has made families teach their young ones to always stay indoors and not go out to play with their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
or friends which was not so in the past. In the olden days after school and during weekends kids were allowed to go out to play with each other
while
their
parents
watched them from afar which encouraged diverse physical activities among them
such
as running,playing hide and seek or rolling unused tyres and
this
promoted the raising of active
children
.In
this
contemporary
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
elites like to showcase their economic class and don't want their
children
to mix with random people but most of their kids are left with spending their
time
watching TV.
For example
,
children
who come from
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rich
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
or whose
parents
are well-educated are always indoors watching animations or educational programs creating little
time
to be physically active with friends outside.
However
,
this
problem can be solved by encouraging
parents
to take up jobs that will create
time
for their family and when they are at
home
they should spend
time
engaging their
children
in activities
such
as teaching them how to ride a bicycle or gardening.
For instance
, research has shown that
children
whose
parents
spend quality
time
with them and join them to participate in activities around the
home
are less likely to be predisposed to sedentary lifestyle diseases.
Furthermore
, permitting youngsters to play outdoors with their peer groups increases their daily activity levels which is beneficial to their health.
Children
learn from their age groups faster than from their
parents
so when they actively interact with people of their age they usually meet their developmental milestones as when due in the absence of an underlying condition. In conclusion, in recent times young ones
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays tend to spend quality period watching TV programs than in the past which has led to increasing in activity levels because of their busy parent schedules at work and
changesI'm
Correct your spelling
changes
in family rules but
this
can be tackled by encouraging mothers or fathers to take up jobs that will give room for family bonding and
also
parents
should allow their
children
to involve in outdoor interactions with peer groups.
Submitted by ayodelesam.adebisi on

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task achievement
Try to address each part of the question more thoroughly and ensure every point is fully developed. Also, make sure the examples are directly related to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraphing and transitions to make your essay flow more smoothly. It's important that each paragraph follows logically from the one before it, and that ideas within paragraphs are well-linked.
task achievement
You have provided a clear response to the prompt with generally comprehensive ideas addressing why children watch more TV and how activity levels can be improved.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your essay and makes it clear what your main points are.

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