IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You visited local beach and found out that there is a rubbish problem. In your letter: Describe the problem How it affects people on the beach Suggest what you want to do about them

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Good afternoon, dear sir/madam. First of all, let me, please, express my real admiration for your hard work for the local beach maintenance. I visited it today with my family,
it
Correct word choice
and it
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 was perfect, except for one thing, that may have a real effect on regional tourism.
Moreover
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, I have a few thoughts about it, and I'm writing
this
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 letter to share it with you. So, we have one paramount problem - the garbage. First of all, people throw garbage on the ground without thinking twice. On the one hand, it's understandable - we have a lack of bins at the beach.
On the other hand
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 - it's not a real reason to throw the rubbish.
Finally
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, I have a couple of solutions for
this
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 problem. First - to erect many garbage bins, and second - voluntary cleaning of local police, to remind people about the importance of keeping the place clean after they go out. If you think that my offer may be interesting to you, let me know, please. Looking forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Anastassia.

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task achievement
Consider adding more details to the problem of rubbish at the beach. For example, you can describe specific types of garbage found, the areas most affected, or how frequently this problem occurs. This would give a clearer picture to the reader and improve the thoroughness of your response.
task achievement
Elaborate on the effects of the rubbish problem on people at the beach. This could include issues such as health hazards, visual pollution, unpleasant smells, or negative impacts on wildlife. Providing more specific effects can make the problem more relatable and serious to the reader.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is appropriate and respectful, which is crucial for this type of communication.
coherence cohesion
The letter is well-structured, with clear paragraphs for different sections: describing the problem, its effects, and proposed solutions.
coherence cohesion
The opening and closing of the letter are well-crafted, polite, and engaging.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a single idea, which aids in the clarity of the message.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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