IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that the increasing use of technology in education is having a negative impact on students' learning abilities. Others argue that technology is a valuable tool that enhances learning. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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A group of individuals believe that the growing number of
students
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 utilize
technology
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 in their education and
this
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 affects,
students
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' learning abilities negatively
whereas
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 others claim that
technology
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 is a significant facility improving learning opportunities. I do agree with the
last
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-mentioned opinion. Quick accessibility to different resources and rare books can play an important role in enhancing education. As
technology
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 has provided different platforms
such
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 as Chat Gpt and search engines,
students
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 can have required books and handouts rapidly.
Additionally
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, all these books can be saved on a mobile phone
,
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apply
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 and carried easily. Providing various reliable information makes a student more knowledgeable as once they face a problem and want to solve it, they are able to find a solution in no time.
However
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, they even find some new aspects of the Problem and definitely some related solutions.
Therefore
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,
technology
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 has provided so many useful tools for all of the
students
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.
Technology
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 has been taught to be a useless facility making
students
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 indifferent toward learning. Since they already have access to different questions with answers, they lose their interest in solving the questions in both mathematical and memorising subjects. They have noticed that all the information can be found on the Internet so learning any new things seems like wasting of time and energy.
However
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, I do not find
this
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 argument convincing as
technology
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 has increased, and
students
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' enthusiasm via providing three-dimensional pictures, a lot of educational videos ,and colourful online handouts, can captivate pupils' attention.
Therefore
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, these attractive facilities available for
students
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 make them more curious about learning. In conclusion,
although
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 some people consider
technology
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 as a negative development for education
due to
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students
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 who lose their interest by accessing a lot of information rapidly,
technology
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 has provided too many resources in a quick and easy way and
also
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 it grabs
students
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' attention easily because of the educational flashy contents

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task response
Although the essay addresses both views and provides an opinion, it would benefit from a clearer stance at the beginning. Ensure the introduction presents a concise overview of how you will discuss both viewpoints before presenting your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is followed by supporting sentences. This will make your arguments more structured and easier to follow. Adding topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs can help.
coherence cohesion
Using varied sentence structures and linking words (such as ‘moreover’, ‘furthermore’, ‘on the other hand’) can improve clarity and flow between ideas.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task response
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views, ensuring that the response remains relevant to the prompt throughout.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion provide clear insights into the writer’s opinion, giving the essay a coherent starting and ending.
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