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Writing Samples /
Band 5

A friend of yours is going on holiday soon and has asked you to recommend a destination. Write a letter to your friend and recommend a good place for a holiday that you have visited before. You should say: * where you went * where you stayed and * what you can do there.

#friend #holiday #destination #place
Dear Mandeep, How are you? I want to tell you and recommend
about
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apply
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the location where I spent my
vocations
Correct your spelling
vacation
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.
Firstly
, as I told you
my
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about my
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vocation
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vacation
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 trip that I enjoyed in
mackoka
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Mackoka
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.
This
 place is famous for Santa Village and there is one special park where they
did
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do
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 activities on special
oscassion
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occasions
occasion
.
Moreover
,
this
 is not too far from Brampton. It is just 4
hours
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hour's
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 drive by car and me and my friends
enjoyed
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and enjoyed
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 during long drive.
Secondly
, we stayed in one hotel and booked two
room
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rooms
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 there. The name of
hotel
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the hotel
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 was Marigold. They gave us
number
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a number
the number
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 of facilities
as well as
special
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a special
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 offer during booking. The view
of
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apply
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indoor
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indoors
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 and
outdoor
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outdoors
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 was
fambulous
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fabulous
. I will give you the contact of
hotel
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the hotel
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 you can book online with
discount
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a discount
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.
Lastly
, we
also
 bought entry tickets
and
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apply
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enjoyed numerous rides and
did
Verb problem
had
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 lots of fun. The fantastic thing was that we had
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a greate
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greate
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great
 experience of
borfire
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bonfire
. Well, capture some pictures and videos for
long lasting
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long-lasting
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 memories. I just recommend
to
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that
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 you definitely go there once during your holiday period. Lots of love, Harpreet
Submitted by mbrar9503 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical structure of your letter by organizing your ideas more clearly and avoiding repeated phrases. For example, you can group similar ideas together and use transition words to link them smoothly.
task achievement
Check your spelling and grammar for small errors. For example, 'vocational' should be 'vacation', 'mackoka' should be capitalized, and 'greate' should be 'great'.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a clear greeting and closing, which helps set the tone for a friendly and warm message.
task achievement
You provided specific details about your trip, such as the name of the hotel and the activities you did, which makes the recommendation more convincing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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