IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You were going to start a job next month, but you will not be able to. Write a letter to your future employer. In your letter:- Explain the situation. Describe your problem(s). Tell them when you can start work.

#job #month #future #employer #situation #work
Answer:
Situation
 – I have to
emergency
 go to my home country because my grandfather is not well he had a stroke. I need to be with him problem – my parents are out of the country – they are not here -they applied for
emergency
 tickets – but sadly got tickets for two weeks later, so in that case, they can join at the beginning of next
month
 week Dear Sir, I hope
this
 letter finds you well. I am Harmandeep Kaur, a resident of Ludhiana and came
last
month
 to interview for your company, and with God’s grace, I was a good fit. My job will start on 1st March, which is next
month
.
However
, an
emergency
 occurred, so I will not be able to join starting next
month
. Recently, My parents had to go to foreign
due to
 my sister’s health issues, which left my grandfather alone at home, and no one was there to take care of him. A week ago, he had a stroke, and he is still hospitalized
by
Change preposition
because
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 his health is deteriorating, and I had to take care of him. My parents had already taken the
emergency
 tickets to reach as soon as possible.
However
, as we know about the
situation
 in Ukraine, there are issues with some travel regulations.
This
 led to their delay in returning to their home country. So, please, Sir, oblige the necessary and help me tackle
this
situation
 by permitting me to start fifteen days late,
that is
, from 15th March. I hope you will understand my
situation
. I would be really thankful for you. Please give me a favourable response. Yours faithfully,
Submitted by S.hasanfadavi on

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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your paragraphs better, by ensuring that each paragraph discusses a single idea clearly and concisely.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to provide a smoother transition between different points to enhance the logical structure.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed the prompt by explaining the situation clearly.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is polite and suitable for the given context, which makes your response effective.
coherence cohesion
You have used appropriate greeting and closing, maintaining the formality of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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