Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this develomeng bring more advantages or disadvantages.
In the present climate , the work is getting done by
machines
which were used to done
by Change the form of the verb
do
hands
in homes. Fix the agreement mistake
hand
however
, this
new advancement makes life easier and allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
to
save Correct pronoun usage
us to
times
for Fix the agreement mistake
time
humans
.This
Correct your spelling
phenomena
phenomenon
phenomina
has both merits and Correct your spelling
phenomenon
few
drawbacks which will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs
Correct article usage
a few
Due to
the tremendous growth in the technology sector, it
makes Correct pronoun usage
apply
humans
being life easy in many ways. Fix the agreement mistake
human
For instance
, previously household chores such
as washing the dishes, clothes
and cleaning the home Correct word choice
and clothes
is
done by Wrong verb form
were
humans
hands which Fix the agreement mistake
human
were
takesVerb problem
took
alot
of time but nowadays, these chores are done by some robotics appliances Correct your spelling
lot
such
as dishwasher
, dryers, and robotics Fix the agreement mistake
dishwashers
vaccums
which Correct your spelling
vacuums
is not only saves
times but Change the verb form
is not only saved
is not only saving
also
done work in more
effective way.
There is no doubt Add an article
a more
machines
saves
time and energy Correct subject-verb agreement
save
of
Change preposition
for
humans
meanwhile dependency on these machines
can bring sedentary lifestyles which could result as
Change preposition
in
physically
illness. Change the adverb
physical
For instance
, work done by the
machine makes one lazy and sitted whole day as there is nothing to do at home Correct article usage
apply
this
can cause some serious illnesses such
as obesity which can lately turned into
fatal in the form of heart attack
In conclusion , there is nothing wrong Wrong verb form
turn
to use
Change preposition
with using
the
Correct article usage
apply
machines
for household works
as it saves energy and Fix the agreement mistake
work
Correct your spelling
precious
percious
time of Correct your spelling
precious
humans
but totally
dependency on these gadgets makes Change the word
total
life styles
low in Correct your spelling
lifestyles
the
terms of Correct article usage
apply
the
healthCorrect article usage
apply
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay. This helps to create a clearer structure and guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and spelling errors, as these can affect the clarity of your ideas. For example, "phenomina" should be "phenomenon," and "percious" should be "precious."
task achievement
Expand on your examples to make them more specific and detailed. For example, explain how a robotic vacuum cleaner improves efficiency or how the time saved can be used for other productive activities.
task achievement
Work on improving sentence variety and complexity to elevate the readability of your essay. Use more complex structures to show a higher level of language proficiency.
coherence cohesion
Provide a more balanced view by discussing advantages and disadvantages more evenly. Currently, the essay leans towards the benefits without equally considering the drawbacks.
coherence cohesion
The essay addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of machines handling household chores, which is essential for a complete response.
task achievement
The points made in the essay are relevant to the prompt and supported by examples, such as the use of robotic vacuums and dishwashers.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and presents a balanced view, which leaves a positive impression.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.