At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantage of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

A significant
Correct quantifier usage
number of rice
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rice
Correct your spelling
rise
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in
population
Correct article usage
the population
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has been noticed
the
Correct article usage
apply
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world wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
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. Some countries have
low
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a low
the low
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number of citizens
while
others
includer
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include
included
a huge numbers
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huge numbers
a huge number
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of
population
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the population
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. It has been stated that some nations have
wide
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a wide
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range of
Youngsters
in
comparision
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comparison
of
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to
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Senion citizens.
This
situation has both pros and cons. In my opinion, after analyzing the current happenings,
this
has more drawbacks than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advantages which will be explained in the
further
essay.
Firstly
, Youth is called warm-blood, and they are responsible for the growth of the country in the future.
For instance
, today's generation
have
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has
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been so advanced in
the
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apply
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technology
as well as
in
extra curricular
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extracurricular
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activities based on their skills.
This
is a huge advantage of having Young people in the country which can
results
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result
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in the
overall
country
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country's
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development.
moreover
, people believe that the young blood is the future of the world.
However
, the main drawback of having a huge number of
youngsters
is,
they
Correct word choice
that they
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are not connected with the religion and the rituals.
For example
, in the modern era, juniors are
loosing
Replace the word
losing
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interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
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in treating an elderly person nicely and respectfully. They forgot their roots and manners in show-off.
Furthermore
, we do not have enough space to build new houses for living. So, with
increase
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an increase
the increase
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in
population
, living expenses
are
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are also becoming
are also become
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also
became expensive.
To conclude
,
population
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the population
show examples
of young people is required to beat the other nations in technology and in inventions.
In contrast
, having too many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Youngsters
may lead
in
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to
show examples
population
growth because of
low
Correct article usage
a low
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dying ratio.
Overall
, after
thorough
Correct article usage
a thorough
show examples
analysis
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
the situation, it can be stated that the advantages of having a large number of
youngsters
does not
Verb problem
do
show examples
not outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by parmarshreya897 on

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task achievement
You should focus on grammatical accuracy, especially in sentence structure and word choice. For example, 'A significant rice in population' should be 'A significant rise in population' and 'includer a huge numbers of' should be 'include a huge number of'.
supported main points
You should provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. For example, when discussing technology advancements, try to mention specific fields or innovations.
logical structure
Work on improving the logical flow of your arguments. Ensure that each paragraph naturally follows the previous one to make your essay more coherent.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame and wrap up your arguments effectively.
complete response
You have acknowledged both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced understanding of the topic.
logical structure
The main idea in each paragraph is identifiable, which helps in understanding your stance on the topic.
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