Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? (Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.)

#people #life #money #answers

A large number of individuals think that the key way to be fortunate is to have heaps of cash.

Firstly

this

essay will discuss how having a load of

money

can

Verb problem

make

show examples

men

blessed and

secondly

what other items

create

Verb problem

make

show examples

people joyful.

On the other hand

, the dough can lift the mood thanks to a satisfactory product and

also

lead to an increase in salary for many stores. The acquisition of new goods can magnify emotion that leads to a positive sentiment in all-day.

Additionally

, the survey reports more than half of humanity is more kindly when they acquire a desired purchase.

Furthermore

, it reduces the sale of old or

last

year's products.

Although

tons of

men

loudly assert that

money

plays a crucial in the world, others attempt to convince their opinion.

Moreover

, a shedload of research informs that not only

money

can confect kindness, but

also

multiple concepts of life can provide a superb quality of being.

For example

, the living of wealthy

men

although

they have a greater state and public respect, do not have a main in their life that can make sense of their living.

Besides

, they can eventually find their sedation even if it is complex to detect the primary reason that leads to their distasteful lifestyle.

Moreover

, to retrieve the chief problem of unpleasant living may

also

take a long time to understand the head issue and how it can influence on solution.

In addition

, any type of agent is substantial for our community.

Overall

, the dollars easily get a large amount of opportunities thanks to

men

who are diligently working for their lucky beings. In my mind,

money

controls scads of items that without we can not exist comfortably and freely.

Although

Correct word choice

However

show examples

, the means of it

also

change without any kind of prepositions.

Submitted by halilova039 on Fri Sep 06 2024

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task response

Your essay seemed developmentally incomplete. You should organize your thoughts into clear points and support each with detailed explanations or examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay could benefit from a clearly defined introduction and conclusion. These elements help frame your arguments and guide the reader through your discussion.

coherence cohesion

Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly signal the main point you will be discussing. This will make the logical structure of your essay clearer and help the reader follow your argument more easily.

task response

Your essay addresses the prompt and responds to both parts of the question, discussing how money can make people happy and what other factors can contribute to happiness.

coherence cohesion

Your essay attempts to use varied vocabulary and expressions, which can make your writing more engaging.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Wealth
Affluence
Prosperity
Financial security
Opportunities
Options
Experiences
Enjoyment
Helping others
Generosity
Philanthropy
Achieving goals
Realizing dreams
Peace of mind
Reduced stress

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy? (Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.)

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?