The pie chart show what makes people most happy for two different age groups. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #people #two #age #groups #information #features #comparisons

Both

chart

Change to a plural noun

charts

show examples

depict

informations

Change the wording

information

pieces of information

show examples

about what makes

people

most happy. The difference is the first pie

chart

show

Change the verb form

shows

show examples

the percentage of

people

under 30 and the second one

display

Correct subject-verb agreement

displays

show examples

the percentage of

people

above 30.

The

Change preposition

In the

show examples

first

chart

people

below 30 feel happy if they can have achievement at work with 31 per

cent

Then

, doing their hobbies

also

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

happy with

total

Correct article usage

a total

show examples

amount

Change preposition

of 22

show examples

per

cent

. After that, 18 per

cent

out of 100 per

cent

was for having a good appearance.

Besides

, traveling has

total

Correct article usage

a total

show examples

around

Change preposition

of around

show examples

15 per

cent

Last

, other factors became the least with 14 per

cent

. The next

chart

, achievement at

office

Add an article

the office

show examples

still dominated the category even in different ages, approximately 32 per

cent

Furthermore

, doing activities they like

became

Wrong verb form

becomes

show examples

the second reason why they are overjoyed. Financial security on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

third place about 20 per

cent

. Afterwards, being with family

contribute

Correct subject-verb agreement

contributes

show examples

at least 14 per

cent

Lastly

, unknown factors

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

10 per

cent

Submitted by wishmeluck on Fri Sep 06 2024

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, people, cent with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

160 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

illustrates
contributing factors
distinct age groups
primary sources
comprising
leading contributors
predominant
accounting for
underscores contrasts
prioritize
universal aspects of well-being
engaging in enjoyable activities
source of joy

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The pie chart show what makes people most happy for two different age groups. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer technology. It is used in business, crime detection and even to fly planes. What will it be used for in future? Is this dependence on technology a good thing or should we be suspicious of its benefits?

Write about the following topic: “Do you think extra-curricular activities are important in a student’s life?” Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think it is a waste of money to establish libraries since the public can use the Internet at home to obtain information, do you agree or disagree?