Some people believe that lessons on becoming a good parent should be included in school curriculums. Others think that it is not essential for students. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.
According to
some individuals, education on becoming a good parent
should be added in
Change preposition
to
school
syllabus. Correct article usage
the school
However
, others believe that it is not mandatory for the students
. I personally opine that it is beneficial of adding
lessons on becoming a good Change preposition
to add
parent
in the school
syllabus because it helps the students
to become a
good Correct article usage
apply
parent
.
Lessons on becoming a good Fix the agreement mistake
parents
parent
provide students
some
guidelines about how to behave, interact and communicate with children. If Add the preposition
with some
students
learn about good parenting, they will not only know how to behave well with their offsprings
but Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
also
with their own parents
. In that case, they will become more respectful and understanding to their parents
. For example
, some schools in the UK,
Remove the comma
apply
has
added the lessons of good parenting in the curriculums, and approximately 70% of the Correct subject-verb agreement
have
students
are satisfied with this
curriculum because they believe it can help them to understand their parent
's psychology. Therefore
, I think adding parenting into school
curriculum is worthy.
Correct article usage
the school
In contrast
, some people think that adding parenting in
Change preposition
to
school
syllabus is not useful because the age of the Correct article usage
the school
school
students
are
not appropriate for learning about parenting. At Change the verb form
is
these
tender age, Correct determiner usage
this
students
should learn to discover their own outlooks and potentials
, and good parenting is not an appropriate lesson to learn at Fix the agreement mistake
potential
this
stage. For instance
, when parenting was included in the school
curriculums in India, around 40% of the students
between the age
of 15 to 17 did not like it because they Fix the agreement mistake
ages
think
it Wrong verb form
thought
is
too early for them to learn about parenting. Wrong verb form
was
However
, I believe that if students
learn parenting at the very beginning stage of their life, they will become more tolerable
Replace the word
tolerant
to
their Change preposition
of
parents
.
To conclude
, learning parenting teaches students
to become well-behaved and respecful
to their Correct your spelling
respectful
parents
and others. It also
makes them more tolerable
and understanding.Replace the word
tolerant
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task response
To improve, provide more balanced views on the opposing opinion in the second body paragraph. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding and consideration of different perspectives.
task response
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines both sides of the argument more explicitly and concisely.
coherence cohesion
Further develop complex sentences and varied structures to improve fluency and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps to guide the reader through your argument.
task response
Examples are provided to support points, which strengthens the argument and demonstrates an effort to justify the opinion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the opinion, providing a clear end to the essay.