Some people believe that lessons on becoming a good parent should be included in school curriculums. Others think that it is not essential for students. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

According to
some individuals, education on becoming a good
parent
should be added
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
syllabus.
However
, others believe that it is not mandatory for the
students
. I personally opine that it is beneficial
of adding
Change preposition
to add
show examples
lessons on becoming a good
parent
in the
school
syllabus because it helps the
students
to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
. Lessons on becoming a good
parent
provide
students
some
Add the preposition
with some
show examples
guidelines about how to behave, interact and communicate with children. If
students
learn about good parenting, they will not only know how to behave well with their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
but
also
with their own
parents
. In that case, they will become more respectful and understanding to their
parents
.
For example
, some schools in the UK
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
added the lessons of good parenting in the curriculums, and approximately 70% of the
students
are satisfied with
this
curriculum because they believe it can help them to understand their
parent
's psychology.
Therefore
, I think adding parenting into
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
curriculum is worthy.
In contrast
, some people think that adding parenting
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
syllabus is not useful because the age of the
school
students
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
not appropriate for learning about parenting. At
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
tender age,
students
should learn to discover their own outlooks and
potentials
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
show examples
, and good parenting is not an appropriate lesson to learn at
this
stage.
For instance
, when parenting was included in the
school
curriculums in India, around 40% of the
students
between the
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
of 15 to 17 did not like it because they
think
Wrong verb form
thought
show examples
it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
too early for them to learn about parenting.
However
, I believe that if
students
learn parenting at the very beginning stage of their life, they will become more
tolerable
Replace the word
tolerant
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
their
parents
.
To conclude
, learning parenting teaches
students
to become well-behaved and
respecful
Correct your spelling
respectful
to their
parents
and others. It
also
makes them more
tolerable
Replace the word
tolerant
show examples
and understanding.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task response
To improve, provide more balanced views on the opposing opinion in the second body paragraph. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding and consideration of different perspectives.
task response
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines both sides of the argument more explicitly and concisely.
coherence cohesion
Further develop complex sentences and varied structures to improve fluency and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps to guide the reader through your argument.
task response
Examples are provided to support points, which strengthens the argument and demonstrates an effort to justify the opinion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the opinion, providing a clear end to the essay.

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