In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own food and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#cities #parks #spaces #gardens #residents #food #vegetables

In several cities, public

parks

and open

spaces

are being transformed become gardens. So, local

people

can plant their fruits and vegetables. By doing

this

people

do not have

spaces

Fix the agreement mistake

space

show examples

anymore to use

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

right way. Not only that, but

also

public

parks

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

not suitable

Change preposition

for

show examples

growing food. Because of that, the drawbacks are more outweigh

than

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the merits. In general, public

parks

and

spaces

were used to playing, enjoying the view of the city, or as a place to

reading

Wrong verb form

read

show examples

a book.

For example

, Taman Kota in Jakarta can be used by the

people

to express themselves

Change preposition

apply

show examples

there. They can

playing

Change the verb form

play

be playing

show examples

skateboard

Wrong verb form

skateboarding

show examples

riding

Wrong verb form

ride

show examples

a bicycle, and

talking

Wrong verb form

talk

show examples

to their friends with a nice view.

Furthermore

, there is a park called Taman Literasi Tiahahu which is very useful for workers if they

tired

Add a missing verb

are tired

show examples

of their

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

. If these

parks

were changed into gardens,

people

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

confused

to find

Change preposition

about finding

show examples

a good place to relax.

Secondly

, the type of soils that open

spaces

have are not appropriate for planting vegetables or fruits.

For instance

, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

public

spaces

in Indonesia

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

a type

pavement

Change preposition

of pavement

show examples

blocks for their ground.

However

people

who live around there are

forcing

Wrong verb form

forced

show examples

to grow some fruits like an apple.

As a result

, the apple's seeds were not growing,

instead

Add a comma

instead,

show examples

it was dead because lack of water and the soil

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

bad. After considering

this

view, obviously, the

diasdvantages

Correct your spelling

disadvantages

outweigh the advantages. Public

parks

and open

spaces

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

built for

enjoy

Replace the word

enjoyment

show examples

or play.

Furthermore

, it can not be a place to grow plants

due to

the type of

soils

Fix the agreement mistake

soil

show examples

Nevertheless

people

can still grow their own food in different areas that are more fit.

Submitted by wishmeluck on Fri Sep 06 2024

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task achievement

Improve the introduction by clearly stating the topic and providing a roadmap of the main points you will discuss.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has one clear main idea and that the ideas follow a logical sequence.

task achievement

Strengthen your arguments with more detailed and varied examples.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices and linking phrases to enhance the flow of your essay.

task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt and provides both advantages and disadvantages related to the topic.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively sums up the essay and reiterates the main points.

task achievement

The essay includes specific examples to illustrate points, such as the mention of parks in Jakarta and the soil types in Indonesia.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

5.5

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Community engagement
Public health
Physical activity
Educational opportunities
Sustainability
Urban greening
Heat island effect
Air quality
Biodiversity
Recreational activities
Maintenance challenges
Allocation of responsibilities
Social inequality
Garden plots
Fairness concerns

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In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own food and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

There are parents who are choosing to teach children themselves at home instead of sending them to school in some countries. Do the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that educational success depends on good teacher, while others believe that students’ attitudes are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar ,which causes many health problems .Sugary products shoud be mad more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar . do you agree or disagree ?

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+