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Band 3.5

Advertisements have become an inseparable part of every business these days.

#advertisements #part #business
Advertisements have become an inseparable part of every business these days. The market is so
competetive
Correct your spelling
competitive
 that advertising techniques are developing day by day. One of the most efficient techniques is the promise of innovation in the product
that is
 being advertised. Everything comes with a consequence and
this
 emphasis on innovation is not an exception.
Companies
 are not the only benefactors of providing what’s new,
customers
 as well take advantage of it in some ways. The first probable outcome for them would be ease
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 using
such
products
. If what
companies
 include in their ads are no whistle words
then
 the
products
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
find something to make the same process easier and faster. The second benefit of it would be the variety that appears in
products
therefore
,
customers
 would have a wide range of
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
 based on their needs. On the other side,
This
 abundance may lead to consumerism. If the
products
 don’t really meet the needs of
customers
, they will end up
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
starve
Wrong verb form
starved
show examples
for checking
Change preposition
to check
show examples
 the
latests
Correct your spelling
latest
.
More over
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
,
this
 constant quest for finding the most suitable can frustrate the
customers
 and give them a pessimistic view of if not all but some
companies
 and
this
 will work as a counter advertisement. Keeping it all in mind, the promise of innovation seems to work as a cutting edge with a tendency to risk the name of
companies
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic but lacks depth in discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of advertisements promising innovation. Provide more detailed explanations and relevant examples to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Work on developing clear and detailed main points. Presenting strong evidence and examples can help substantiate your claims further.
coherence cohesion
Focus on refining the logical structure. While the introduction and conclusion are present, make sure transitional sentences are smoother, and ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to articulate the main points more thoroughly and provide ample evidence to back up your statements.
language
Carefully proofread for minor errors and refine sentence structures to enhance clarity and readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion effectively.
task achievement
The main points are identified, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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