Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Advertisements
play a great role
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
attracting as many customers as possible and
people
do end up buying things that they
were
Verb problem
did
show examples
not
intending
Wrong verb form
intend
show examples
to shop
.
Change preposition
for.
show examples
On the contrary
, some
people
watch them intentionally for the various new products. In my opinion, it is risky to trust those random ads though some may be genuine
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
. The
know-it -all
Add a hyphen
know-it-all
show examples
people
would never want to buy things based on
advertisements
. In fact, they will not spend money unnecessarily.
However
, there are
also
people
who can easily be allured by beautiful and fake videos shown randomly on TV or mobile phones. They would want to buy them ultimately even though it is not needed.
For instance
; shampoo ads are fabricated very well where they show how it turns out damaged hair into longer, shinier and healthier after it is washed using them.
Therefore
,
people
are encouraged to buy them. Many new products
also
get to markets through
such
advertisements
. These days, various inventions have been taking place
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
to facilitate
people
such
as
aquaguard
Correct your spelling
aqua guard
for
filtration
Correct article usage
the filtration
show examples
of water. It is very popular all over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
India and Nepal. So on
ther
Correct your spelling
the
hand,
people
find them helpful.
In addition
, some
people
love to enjoy modern facilities whether it be furniture or digitals.
Therefore
they are satisfied and are happy about them. In my view, I agree that
advertisements
do play a big part in bringing new products
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
our doorstep because they make our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
comfortable.
Submitted by raialon4047 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure your thesis statement is clear in the introduction to guide the reader on what to expect in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Include more specific and relevant examples to support your points effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses both viewpoints expressed in the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The paragraphs have clear main ideas which are explained with some details.
coherence cohesion
An attempt is made to conclude the essay, summarizing your viewpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: