Today children are surrounded by electronic devices such as personal computers, tablet computers, and smart phones, and they learn to use them at a very early age. What are advantages and disadvantages of this situation?
It is an undeniable truth that technology has been a common feature of modern life and
accessible
Add a missing verb
is accessible
in
all ages. Even children begin to familiarize Change preposition
to
with
many gadgets Correct pronoun usage
themselves with
such
as smartphones, tablets and personal computers. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall thoroughly explain both significant advantages and notable disadvantages.
One of the primary benefits of early access to electronic devices is the development of technological understanding, which is vital in an increasingly digital world. For instance
, utilizing educational apps and online resources can promote academic growth and enhance essential skills such
as problem-solving and research. Additionally
, a lot of programs and games are created to interactive
and provide knowledge specifically, which can make learning more enjoyable and interesting.
Replace the word
interact
Conversely
, some kids mostly spend time on screens instead
of enjoying in
the outside world like playing with friends and doing some Change preposition
apply
excercises
, which can lead to mental and physical health issues directly. To be more Correct your spelling
exercises
exercise
examplify
, many kids currently have to wear glasses Correct your spelling
exemplify
due to
bad eyesight from released harmful rediation
of screens, some even face obesity Correct your spelling
radiation
mediation
in
a very early age because of a sedentary lifestyle. Change preposition
at
Moreover
, mentally, the percentage of children encounter
hypertension has Correct pronoun usage
who encounter
been
rapidly risen Unnecessary verb
apply
comparable
to decades ago. Replace the word
compared
Therefore
, parents or guardians have to strictly monitor tecn
instruments Correct your spelling
technology
use
Wrong verb form
used
in
children or limit Change preposition
by
using
time on screen.
To summarize, adults must pay attention to the pros and cons of tech gadgets Wrong verb form
use
to
kids and make sure that the drawbacks will not refute the Change preposition
for
strenghts
.Correct your spelling
strengths
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task achievement
Try to clarify and expand on some of the ideas you've presented. For example, you mention the benefits of educational apps, but providing a specific example could strengthen your point.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between your ideas. Try using more linking phrases and ensuring each paragraph logically follows the previous one.
coherence cohesion
Check for minor grammatical and spelling errors. For instance, 'examplify' should be 'exemplify,' and 'hypertension' might be more clearly described as 'stress' or 'anxiety' in this context.
task achievement
You have a strong introduction and conclusion, clearly stating the topic and summarizing your key points.
coherence cohesion
You presented both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a balanced perspective on the issue.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.