Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Others prefer to live in a rural area. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The debate over whether
city
or Correct article usage
the city
countryside
is a better place to live is ongoing, with some viewing them merely Correct article usage
the countryside
cities
are better, Correct word choice
as cities
while
others argue that living in countryside
Add an article
the countryside
have
more merit. Both perspectives have valid points and understanding these viewpoints is crucial in forming a balanced opinion.
On Correct subject-verb agreement
has
one
hand, Correct article usage
the one
people
prefer to live in urband
Correct your spelling
urban
areas
as they can experience various things and live a convenient life compared to the countryside
. In the city
there are many facilities like schools, academies and gyms which make Add a comma
city,
people
easier to learn things and a good environment for children to experience. In addition
as public facilities and service is well constructed in the city
such
as CCTV, road
and transportation, it is fast and comfortable to reach the service we want. Fix the agreement mistake
roads
For instance
, it is convenient and safe for students to go to school as roads are well-made and there are
a lot of transportation they can use.
Change the verb form
is
On the other hand
, there are people
who think countryside
is better to live as we can live a healthy life. First of all, the environment is really clean as there are lots of mountains and lakes around us having less traffic. Add an article
the countryside
Due to
reduced air and noise pollutions
, we can stay healthy physically and mentally as we don't get stressed compared to Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
people
in the city
. Additionally
, fewer people
stay in the rural areas
than urban
Change preposition
in urban
areas
which means we can make good relationships which
our neighbors Correct your spelling
with
whereas
in the city
people
tend to move individually. We can share things with each other and get some help from people
from next door which makes a healthy relationship that will make us stay healthy mentally.
To conclude
, I would like to say that it will be better to live in the
urban Correct article usage
apply
areas
as we can experience and earn knowledge in a convenient way. Also
a lot of Add a comma
Also,
people
are moving in to
the Join the words
into
city
and due to
the decline of working ages in the countryside
, facilities like school
are decreasing. Fix the agreement mistake
schools
Thus
it would be hard to stay in the rural areas
as there are
relatively nothing left unless it's going to be developed in the future. Change the verb form
is
However
, it will depend upon the mindsets of people
that
which view they are in favour of.Correct word choice
and
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, consider using more specific and diverse examples to support your arguments. Instead of saying 'public facilities and service is well constructed,' specify how they ease daily life with examples like emergency services, entertainment options, etc.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, try using more transitional phrases and ensuring there's a smooth flow between paragraphs and ideas. For example, instead of starting a sentence abruptly with 'Additionally, fewer people stay,' use a phrase like 'Furthermore, the rural setting fosters closer community ties because fewer people stay there.'
coherence cohesion
Review and revise sentence structures to avoid awkward phrasing such as 'the debate over whether city or countryside is a better place to live is ongoing, with some viewing them merely cities are better.' A more fluid version would be: 'The debate over whether it's better to live in the city or the countryside is ongoing, with strong arguments on both sides.'
coherence cohesion
You’ve made good use of paragraphs and organized the essay logically with separate sections for different viewpoints and your own opinion.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt adequately, discussing both views and providing a personal opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and effective in framing the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?