Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Others prefer to live in a rural area. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The debate over whether
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
or
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
is a better place to live is ongoing, with some viewing them merely
cities
Correct word choice
as cities
show examples
are better,
while
others argue that living in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
more merit. Both perspectives have valid points and understanding these viewpoints is crucial in forming a balanced opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand,
people
prefer to live in
urband
Correct your spelling
urban
areas
as they can experience various things and live a convenient life compared to the
countryside
. In the
city
Add a comma
city,
show examples
there are many facilities like schools, academies and gyms which make
people
easier to learn things and a good environment for children to experience.
In addition
as public facilities and service is well constructed in the
city
such
as CCTV,
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
and transportation, it is fast and comfortable to reach the service we want.
For instance
, it is convenient and safe for students to go to school as roads are well-made and there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a lot of transportation they can use.
On the other hand
, there are
people
who think
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
is better to live as we can live a healthy life. First of all, the environment is really clean as there are lots of mountains and lakes around us having less traffic.
Due to
reduced air and noise
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
, we can stay healthy physically and mentally as we don't get stressed compared to
people
in the
city
.
Additionally
, fewer
people
stay in the rural
areas
than
urban
Change preposition
in urban
show examples
areas
which means we can make good relationships
which
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
our neighbors
whereas
in the
city
people
tend to move individually. We can share things with each other and get some help from
people
from next door which makes a healthy relationship that will make us stay healthy mentally.
To conclude
, I would like to say that it will be better to live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban
areas
as we can experience and earn knowledge in a convenient way.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
a lot of
people
are moving
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
the
city
and
due to
the decline of working ages in the
countryside
, facilities like
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
are decreasing.
Thus
it would be hard to stay in the rural
areas
as there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
relatively nothing left unless it's going to be developed in the future.
However
, it will depend upon the mindsets of
people
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
which view they are in favour of.
Submitted by wjddbs2206 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve task achievement, consider using more specific and diverse examples to support your arguments. Instead of saying 'public facilities and service is well constructed,' specify how they ease daily life with examples like emergency services, entertainment options, etc.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, try using more transitional phrases and ensuring there's a smooth flow between paragraphs and ideas. For example, instead of starting a sentence abruptly with 'Additionally, fewer people stay,' use a phrase like 'Furthermore, the rural setting fosters closer community ties because fewer people stay there.'
coherence cohesion
Review and revise sentence structures to avoid awkward phrasing such as 'the debate over whether city or countryside is a better place to live is ongoing, with some viewing them merely cities are better.' A more fluid version would be: 'The debate over whether it's better to live in the city or the countryside is ongoing, with strong arguments on both sides.'
coherence cohesion
You’ve made good use of paragraphs and organized the essay logically with separate sections for different viewpoints and your own opinion.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt adequately, discussing both views and providing a personal opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and effective in framing the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: