ome argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#ome #music #individuals #stress #anxiety

Music

has a really big impact on many people's lives, it has become a hobby and

also

part of their lifestyle. It is often played in so many places that we visit, like in a supermarket so the customers can enjoy their shopping. A lot of different genres in

music

make

music

more relatable and you can choose what kind of

music

you want to hear. By that,

Change the capitalization

show examples

totally agree that

music

can reduce

stress

and anxiety. There are several benefits that you can get from

litening

Correct your spelling

listening

musics

Change the wording

music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

First,

music

influences many people in many aspects of their lives,

example

Change preposition

for example

show examples

when you are really

stress

Wrong verb form

stressed

show examples

and can not sleep , and you choose to listen to a

relax

Change the verb form

relaxing

show examples

song or maybe an instrumental. It makes you much

Correct quantifier usage

more relax

show examples

relax

Wrong verb form

relaxed

show examples

and gives you

peace

Correct article usage

the peace

show examples

that you want.

The relaxation

Correct article usage

Relaxation

show examples

music

brings a lot of good impacts other than just that, It can

brings

Change the verb form

bring

show examples

a positive impacts

Correct the article-noun agreement

a positive impact

positive impacts

show examples

to your body and mind,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

can reduce your

stress

and

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

you less tired. The second is

music

also

can take off all your burdens,

cause

Correct word choice

because

show examples

listening to

music

brings you more joy and makes you happier. The

music

that you listen to can boost your mood and make you a lot fresher.

For example

when you are working on something and you get bored, and you turn on the

music

the feelings of course will be totally different, your work will be much more enjoyable

cause

Correct word choice

because

show examples

the

music

accompanies and entertains you throughout the time. By listening to

music

you can

also

reduce your anxiety, your mind will get distracted by all of the burdens that you have. So in conclusion, listening to

musics

Change the wording

music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

is not only to

entertains

Wrong verb form

entertain

show examples

but it can

also

reduce

stress

and anxiety, and

also

makes you happier.

Submitted by frendyardiansyah31 on Fri Sep 06 2024

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task response

The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and addresses the question directly, offering a clear standpoint on how music serves to reduce stress and anxiety.

coherence and cohesion

The structure of the essay is logical, with clear progression from introduction to conclusion. The concluding paragraph effectively summarizes the main points discussed.

task response

The examples provided, such as how relaxation music can help with stress and how music can make work more enjoyable, are relevant and support the points well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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ome argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that going to the gym is the best way to keep fit. Others think that there are many better methods. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more parents begin to allow their children to play on computers and tablets as they think children should learn technology skills. Do advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages or not?

Due to the development and expansion of supermarkets, some local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that closing off the local markets will bring the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The crime rates now-a-days is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?