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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows what Engineering graduates from a London university did after their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the Engineers in work after five years.

The chart below shows what Engineering graduates from a London university did after their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the Engineers in work after five years.
The pie chart below shows what Engineering
graduates
Use synonyms
 from a London University did after undergraduate degree courses,
while
Linking Words
 the table illustrates the incomes of Engineers in work after five years.
Overall
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the pie chart, the overwhelming majority of Engineering students were employed full-time.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the table, the highest salaries of Engineering
graduates
Use synonyms
 came from freelance and government. Regarding the pie chart, just over half of the
graduates
Use synonyms
 worked full-time and 15% of these
graduates
Use synonyms
 had a part-time job.
By contrast
Linking Words
, a small minority of
graduates
Use synonyms
 did not have a job and another 8% of students did not disclose their employment status.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a very tiny portion of these students had postgraduate study and part-time work, including part-time study. As can be seen from the table, the highest salaries came to the workers in freelance and government, who had an income of £100,000, 40% and 50%, respectively.
By contrast
Linking Words
, most of the
graduates
Use synonyms
 that worked in private had salaries of about £50,000-£74,999, 35%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, by contrast".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 92%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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