Some people believe that in order to reduce the rising obesity among children the school administration should make it necessary for every child to participate in sports and other outdoor activities. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is debatable whether school authorities should encourage children to take part in

sports

Use synonyms

and outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

to eradicate the increasing overweight issue. I firmly agree that educational institutions should implement

this

Linking Words

approach because it can instil a good lifestyle in them. Arguably, there are multifarious reasons why people are in favour of making

sports

Use synonyms

and outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

mandatory by the school authorities. Primarily, if

such

Linking Words

an approach can be followed, children will never get a chance to avoid

sports

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activities

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For example

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, The Guardian Newspaper conducted meticulous research in March 2022 and stated that in 6 out of 10 cases of overweight issue in

students

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was

due to

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the absence of specific time for their body movements at both homes and schools. Owing to

this

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, after adopting

this

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trend,

students

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can burn some extra calories and ultimately curb the fat-enhancing factors.

In addition

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, physical education teachers cannot only help to identify the appropriate game for them, but they can

also

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assist in selecting a healthy diet related to a reduction of extra fat for better endurance.

Furthermore

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, since most

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apply

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working parents seldom have time for their children,

this

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positive move from educational organisations can make them participate in outdoor physical movements at school under the observation of experts.

For instance

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, the World Health Organisation revealed in its annual report that the fat percentage was 35% less in those schools which made an obligatory rule to take part in

sports

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for all their

students

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. Resultantly,

this

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way not only can the pressure of a sedentary lifestyle be eradicated but

also

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the ailments related to obesity can be avoided.

To conclude

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, I agree with

this

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phenomenon that by making

sports

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and outdoor

activities

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unavoidable for

students

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this

Linking Words

change can be the best method for adipose tissue reduction by ensuring a distinctive lifestyle.

Mrjit147Fri Sep 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay could benefit from a clearer distinction between the introduction and body paragraphs. This can aid readability and coherence.

task achievement

Try to vary your sentence structures and use complex sentences to make your writing more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of proficiency.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly states the writer's position on the issue, setting a strong foundation for the essay.

task achievement

The essay contains relevant examples that support the main points effectively, making the argument more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the argument and reinforces the writer's stance, which is an excellent aspect of a high-scoring essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Some people believe that in order to reduce the rising obesity among children the school administration should make it necessary for every child to participate in sports and other outdoor activities. Do you agree or disagree?

Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What does this cause? What are the effects ?

The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?

The spread of multinational companies and the increase of globalization produces positive effects for everyone. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

in recent years, many small local shops have closed because customer travel to large shopping center or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?