IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environment problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals #environment
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There is no doubt, that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental issues are crucial;
however
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, the part of society
argue
Correct subject-verb agreement
argues
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 that the extinction of particular
species
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 is the most important problem. I do not agree with
this
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statment
Correct your spelling
statement
 and suggest, that global warming has more impact on the
planet
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.
To begin
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 with, the main argument of protectors
all
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of all
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species
Use synonyms
 of plants and animals is that their loss may lead to breaking
food
Correct article usage
the food
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 chain.
For instance
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, in
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last
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the last
show examples
centure
Correct your spelling
century
, in China, people killed all sparrows and the vanishing of
such
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 birds led to
flourishing
Correct article usage
the flourishing
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 of insects.
In other words
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, all
species
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 not only work as food for big predators but
also
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 control other smaller
species
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. Alternatively, if
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
 chain was destroyed, some insects or unwilling animals or plants would cover the
planet
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. So, that negative scenario will be disruptive for all humanity.
On the other hand
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, from my point of view, global warming is the most
seriose
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serious
 problem
of
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in
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environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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.
This
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 is because
,
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apply
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 the
tempreture
Correct your spelling
temperature
rasing
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rising
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 increases the
posibbility
Correct your spelling
possibility
 of storms and droughts
in
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on
show examples
 the Earth. To illustrate
this
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, scientists report that as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 consequence of global
warming
Add a comma
warming,
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 the number of fires and draughts in the US and Europe have soared in recent years.
In contrast
Linking Words
, if the rising of average temperature on the
planet
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 was not
essenscial
Correct your spelling
essential
, governments would not spend billions
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of dollar
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dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
show examples
 on solving
outcome
Correct article usage
the outcome
show examples
 of the issue. In conclusion, I agree, that protection of all
species
Use synonyms
 is important because the loss of them may destroy many animals and
plant
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plants
show examples
.
However
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, the most pivotal issue is
global
Add an article
a global
the global
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warning
Correct your spelling
warming
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 in light of the
dengerouse
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dangerous
 effects on the
planet
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, which makes people
valnurable
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vulnerable
.
Submitted by sergeybelov83 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the prompt and discusses both views. However, to enhance your task achievement, make sure to provide more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments and explore each point in greater depth.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, ensure that the progression of ideas between sentences and paragraphs is smoother. Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical and spelling errors in your essay. For example, 'statment' should be 'statement', 'centure' should be 'century', 'tempreture' should be 'temperature', and 'draughts' should be 'droughts'. Review your essay for such errors to improve clarity and readability.
task achievement
You clearly presented both viewpoints and provided your own opinion in the essay, which is essential for a high task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, and they help frame your discussion well, which contributes positively towards coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You have provided examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments and adds credibility to your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • ecological balance
  • pollinators
  • keystone species
  • extinction
  • ecosystem services
  • pollination
  • water purification
  • climate regulation
  • climate change
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • environmental degradation
  • illegal wildlife trade
  • conservation
  • sustainability
  • preservation
  • habitat destruction
  • endangered species
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